The Kernel - Nelson Sauvin Riwaka Tomohawk

As part of my job, I drive around London delivering beer to people and sometimes I get to collect it too. The best part of my London excursions is when I do a pick up from The Kernel and there are a couple of reasons for this. At the top of the list is the smell, it's like making the sweetest oatmeal imaginable, bottling that smell, filling a pool with it and then going for a swim until you resemble a prune that's been left out in the sun... But is now wet... Because of the analogy. Second on the list is how cool all the people are and how cool the brewery itself is (it's under a railway arch!) And third is that I occasionally get to see stuff I've never ever seen before... Like this, the Nelson Sauvin Riwaka Tomohawk Pale Ale. I'm sure they've made it before but in my head I'm the spitting image of Marco Polo, right here!

Someone said to me that all Kernel beers taste the same, to which I replied that the taste of AWESOME can never become repetitive. I genuinely believe that these guys don't have a level that dips below FRIKKIN' MEGA BADASS, but I'm sure there's a first time for everything... But from the smell of this super-fresh pale ale, I'm pretty sure today won't be that day. This beer is less than a month old and the hoppy aromas smell as if the hops themselves had just been picked. The body is tantalisingly pale with a light cloudiness that reminds you that, yes, all this jazz is bottle conditioned because that's what real men do, men with beards you could keep a stationary kit in, men who think Krav Maga is a type of sensual massage, men who wake up in the morning and feel the urge to go logging... WITH THEIR BARE ANKLES!

Anyway, this pours a beautiful amber and smells like the hungover breath of a fallen angel. On top of that it tastes clean and crisp to start, moving into a round fruity phase before ending with a slight liquorice and blackberry sweetness. THIS is proper beer! If you're starting a brewery or currently own a brewery that makes gallon after gallon of utter piss, buy some Kernel, drink it, think of happier times when accountants didn't dictate your ingredients and then go back out into the world with a slightly more open mind, open heart and learn to both live and love again. The Kernel has the answers to all of your problems people, as long as those problems consist of questions like "I'm thirsty and I don't know what to drink. What beer tastes like THE TEARS OF GOD?!?!?!"

Food suggestion: I reckon this would go great with a lot of Moroccan cuisine, especially those spicy, fruity, sweet, tagines. It'd also smash the house down with some assorted tapas, maybe some olives, some chorizo and some saucy meat balls. MY FACE HAS TURNED INTO DRIBBLE!

Drink this if you like: All of those things that you currently like. Yes... Those ones.