Westerham - Audit Ale

Though the idea of getting an audit from your ale may be an unpleasant one, I can assure you that there is nothing sinister in this name apart from maybe some shady dealings in regards to its history but I can only imagine that the ale itself had a minimal effect on that. Oddly enough I was talking to Westerham Brewery over twitter, waxing lyrical about Viceroy and they mentioned that I should try the Audit. I said I'd try my hardest to find it and then, naturally, instantly forgot. A week later it magically appeared on the shelves of The Bottle Shop, a set of circumstances that seem WAY too convenient but if this beer is half as good as Westerham say it is then I'll be sure to be a happy chap.

It pours a dark mahogany with a light, wispy, head that fades quickly. The aroma has hints of fruit, bitter hops and bread, leading me to think that this is going to be a round, thick, hearty ale with sweet and bitter components that play on the tongue like a mouse and a grasshopper who were both orphaned but became the best of friends... I've been wrong in the past. Sometimes it wasn't a mouse at all. It was a vole.

It instantly hits you with big bitter notes that stick to your tongue like limpets, which combined with a heavy, rounded and imposing body, leave you with the sense that the ale is bullying you into loving it. It never goes too far with the bitterness and the body is more playful in its attempts at rough housing your senses than it is actually do you physical harm. It definitely feels like the kind of thing they would have had 200 years ago, it feels like the kind of thing the masters at Hogwarts would drink.

It's thick, bitter, lightly fruity, imposing and, still, thoroughly enjoyable. At 6.2% I would happily see my way to drinking 4 or 5 of these in an evening without begrudging my hangover the next day. Cheers Westerham! You done good, chaps!

Food Suggestion: I would love to have a pint of this whilst sitting in a country pub in the 50s, hops hanging from the ceiling, pipe smoke hanging heavy in the air and a bit of game pie in front of you or, even, a full beef roast if it were a Sunday. Sounds like the perfect use of a time machine to me.

Drink this if you like: Similar in style and taste to "Kill Your Darlings" by Thornbridge but less plummy, less bready, with a punch more bitterness.

Partizan - Single Patersbier

I do enjoy when countries other than Belgium attempt Belgian style beer... It's pretty cool when Belgium do it too but they've got a horrifically unfair advantage right from the off. I've described Partizan before as players in the craft revolution but after actually visiting the brewery a couple of times I came to the realisation that they weren't players, no, these guys (and gals) are soldiers! Scrapping away at the front line, trying to give us hardy beer geeks the innovation and quality that we crave!

The Single Patersbier smells zesty and fresh with that lovely raw beer scent hanging around, which I love. The pour is as frisky as a March hare in Chernobyl, leaving a generous 2 finger head (which sounds like something you'd see on a sign in Amsterdam) and producing a beautifully light, pale, cloudy, body with heavy fizz that's just begging to be chugged like a thirsty hog at the only watering hole in the forest.

It feels fantastically light! The head fizzles away to nothing as it touches your lip and the body is like drinking bitter-sweet air. There's a hint of the sweet shop in the after taste and hop bitterness as an opener but it's surprising just how drinkable it is! It's refreshing and has enough going on for me not to dismiss it as a watery beer. It's got that thick, lively, head that's just happy to see you, like that receptionist your company gave a forced lobotomy to. It sticks around for the duration too, it's not the kind to go ugly early and just sod off, that head is in it to win it!

This is a real winner! Maybe not a complex, barrel aged, beast with smoky bacon overtones but this just hits the spot and it hits it good... With a lovely, refreshing, stick.

Food suggestion: This really wouldn't be out of place in a Belgian restaurant, which is testament to the job Partizan have done, so I'd happily pair this with Moules Frites.

Drink this if you like: Orval is pretty close to this, though it has slightly more zing. This would do you well if you wanted something a bit less wafty than a saison but something not quite as heavy as typical Belgian blond. We're really splitting hairs here though.

BBNo - 01|08 Saison Wai-Iti & Lemon

"So what's Wai-Iti like?" I asked Dave of BBNo.
"It's lemony, low alpha acid, really lemony." Was the reply.
"And you paired that with lemon?" There was a slight pause "ALL THE LEMONS!!! THIS CAN'T FAIL!!!"

Some of those words may not have actually been said. Regardless! The lovely folk of BBNo gave me a couple of bottles of their newest brew, a 6.2% saison, a few days before its grand unveiling. I sure am a lucky little scamp, huh?

The instant comparison would be with Limoncello IPA by Siren, another relatively new beer that tastes like ALL THE LEMONS!!! Though that was rather more beefy in structure and broad in the way it casually performs chiropractic adjustments on your face. This, on the other hand, seems somewhat more measured, more subtle and, dare I say it, ever so slightly more refined. I would also imagine that a light, spritzy, saison also suits the flavour of lemon more than a thicker, heartier, IPA (though I love the Limoncello IPA.)

The head is wafty and cloud-like, sitting unevenly on an equally cloudy body, which sits on just the right side of gold for it to be easily confused with yellow from a distance. The aroma is soft and inviting. Lemon? Yes, of course. Anything else? Aha! Yes! ... Saison yeast smell! (Obvious things are obvious.) So far it's doing everything it says on the bottle. I like that in a beer.

It tastes deeper and richer than their other Saisons, which can probably be credited to the 6.2% volume, however it still retains the refreshing qualities and playful zing that have become synonymous with Brew By Numbers. Is there a lot of lemon? Yes and no. There's enough lemon so that it is not over powering, letting the textures of smooth malt and the hoppy zing shine through. It plays with the other elements, complimenting them and reminding us that we're not drinking cold lemsip, we're drinking craft beer.

The smoothness, the sweet maltiness, the saison spring and the round lemon flavours make this beer a tough one to put down, especially when it's cold. It doesn't matter what the weather's like outside, I'd drink a cold one of these even if I'd just been snowed in.

Food suggestion: Chicken! Specifically Lemon Chicken. ALL THE CHICKEN WITH ALL THE LEMON AND ALL THE LEMON CHICKEN!!! ... LEMONS!!!

Drink this if you like: As I mentioned earlier, if you were a fan of Limoncello IPA by Siren you'd probably be a fan of this. You'd also love this if you liked The Trooper by Robinsons, you know, the Iron Maiden beer. This one isn't made by the lead singer of Iron Maiden but it does have the distinct advantage of actually being a good beer.

Drake's - Denogginizer

Well if that isn't just a beautiful looking pint! A clean, clear, oak body with 2 fingers of fluffy, marshmallow head sitting on top of it. That, however, pales in comparison to the smell, which is that rich, thick, American Double IPA smell, the one that makes you want to cry a bit, the one that makes your liver want to cry a bit, the one that makes your peni... Whoa! I think I went a bit too far there! When you look at the hops though, it's hard not to get carried away a little, they've concentrated mainly on Simcoe and Columbus with little bits of Amarillo and Cascade. What a dream team! I'm a huge fan of Simcoe, it just makes certain types of IPA really hum and there's not another hop out there with quite the same earthiness, quite the same depth, quite the same POWER. The carbonation is relatively high, which means the head's sticking around for a while, which I like, it's leaving some thick, bubble bath, speckling too.

It's all very well and good looking pretty and smelling nice, I would compare this to a beautiful woman (you know how you can compare everything to a beautiful woman,) but the next question was going to be "but does it taste good?" ...No, actually I think I can get away with that. If you think that's a sordid comparison then you've got a filthy mind... You dirty birdy!

It tastes like a perverted mug of hot chocolate. The mouth feel... The texture... The way the foam feels as you drink... It's just unfair is what it is. How is anyone supposed to compete with that? The sensation of getting a smooth hoppy rush through the medium of a milky, luxurious, imperial IPA is just... As I say, it's unfair. A 9.75% beer should not drink like an artisan vanilla milkshake made from milk whose cows were being given sensuous massages at the time of milking. What you get, taste wise, is sweet malt, earthy hops and smacks of raisin. There's a hint of wood too but it is only a hint.

I didn't know who Drake's were before, but now I don't want to drink anything else. What an absolutely STUNNING beer! The really terrifying thing about this beer is that, for me to be drinking it right now, it has to have travelled from San Leandro in California to Mikkeller in Denmark to the Bottle Shop in Canterbury, that's nearly an 8000 mile trip for a liquid that, traditionally, does NOT travel well at all.

I've got to try this from the source! I bet it's like crack if crack was made of happy thoughts and sunshine.

Food Suggestion: Food? FOOD?! Must you eat at a time like this?! Fine! Blue cheese, crackers, caramelised onion chutney (or fig) and a bit of celery... But don't go mad on it, ok? You've got beer to drink.

Drink this if you like: Similar in flavour to Green Bullet by Green Flash but the feel of it is much more akin to a really luxurious milk stout... I can't think of one. Lugene! That'll do... Doesn't quite do the beer justice but it'll do.