Founders - Old Curmudgeon Ale

I've not previously experienced anything by Founders but the moment you pop the cap of Old Curmudgeon is the moment you fall in love with them. The aroma is so deeply intrusive that you must momentarily consider getting a restraining order only to instantly forget it because the aroma itself is so ridiculously appealing! Cereal and cocoa on the nose make this, dark, molasses hued, ale give the impression that you're about to tuck into a bowl coco pops, or krave, or whatever chocolate cereal is readily available in the country you're reading this in. I want EVERYTHING EVER to smell like this! I want a Founders Old Curmudgeon air freshener in my car and an aerosol in my toilet, I want Old Curmudgeon soap and I want Old Curmudgeon plushies, which would look like the sour old gent on the label but they would be filled with chocolate and cereal smelling chemicals which would make children, teenage girls and alcoholics want to hug it until its eyes popped from its sockets, until the smell ran dry and until people decided to stop loving it because it had no eyes and smelt like the inappropriate love that occurs between an alcoholic and a doll.

This is all well and good, but can it back up the smell with flavour?

In a word... Iwanttocryalittle... It's like a delicious, malty, hug from someone warm and not hideously unattractive. There is a hint of chocolate in the background but this is a smooth, malt heavy, ale with a medium mouth feel, a round body and an underlying sweetness that occasionally gets interupted by a little tang of hop bitterness, but never for too long.

Did I mention that this warming hug of a beer, this beer that has no trace of malice or aggression in its bones, is a whopping 9.8%? This doesn't just taste like it's low alcohol, this tastes like it's NO alcohol. This tastes like a chilled Starbucks choco-concoction or a comforting malt drink with a bag of cocoa nibs in it. It does NOT taste like it should be 0.8% higher alcohol content than Special Brew!

This is maybe the best malt heavy beer I've had to date and it's going to be intensely hard to beat. This is as satisfying as drinking a turbo-booze-fuelled chocolate milk. What a gloriously comforting and provocative beer!

Food suggestions: Cookies. Warm cookies, straight out of the oven. Don't burn your hands... Or your face.

Drink this if you like: Choklat by Southern Tier is a chocolate stout that is REALLY a chocolate stout in so much as it ACTUALLY tastes like chocolate. It was, however, a little bit of a chore after a while. This is a much subtler, much easier, not advertising itself as being related to chocolate, version that is just as satisfying as Choklat.