Weird Beard - Holy Hoppin' Hell

In my head the name is a reference to super hench and totally badass WWE mainstay Triple H so whenever I see this beer I can't help hearing the growling voice of Lemmy from Motorhead death rattle the words "TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!" Which is oddly appropriate when considering the purchase of a beer like this. This is a double IPA clocking in at 8.5% which is 0.5% above the threshold of my girlfriend's "wuss beer" margain but it looks fun, it looks lively on the pour but it doesn't spill over. It has a nice, thick, white head that leaves moderate speckling and it has the kind of smell that you could cut out of the air and chew on for a couple of days. It smells rich and thick with hints of brown sugar and orange.

I got one of the old versions, featuring green bullet, columbus, pacific gem and Dr Rudi and I know they've updated since but this is the only HHH review you'll be getting, I assure you... Unless someone wants to buy me another (Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink.) The colour seems slightly darker than I remember the new one being, but it's a rich mahogany with slight cloudiness so I'm not complaining. The head is as thick and as white as Santa's beard with a boozy aroma that I imagine fits the comparison.

I like that the label tells me not to store it. Well... I'LL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT, BOTTLE! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE MADE OF GLASS! ...Ahem. Though the label also says that you'll thank them for drinking it, not something I do loud enough for people to hear it but I guess there's a first time for everything.

Oh mercy! This has a lingering sweetness running through it the same way fictional America had Forest Gump running through it, the sweetness just keeps going and going, never stopping, never giving up. It mixes with an intense mouth feel which is almost all encompassing, hints of chocolate orange darting around the place like a chinchilla with an ear infection and a drinkability that does NOT belong to a beer that could put you on the floor as easily as it could be poured into a glass.

This beer is dangerous yet alluring, tantalising and intoxicating. Well worth whatever anyone happens to be charging for it anywhere in the world... Unless it's more than, say, £8... Then you're probably getting ripped off.

Food suggestion: Crepes! Aww yeah! Crepes with Nutella and honey and bananas and sugar and lemon and EEEEEEEEEEEEEVERYTHING!!! Boom! That's right! Make it happen! ... Or apple pie, that'd work too I guess.

Try this if you like: Amnesia.