For all my Belgian friends out there, do not worry when you read my other reviews (and I know you do *w-wiiiink*) I am not scared of your delicious beer, nor do I dislike it, this could not be further from the truth. I don't write about it so much because I often don't have a chance to get my hands on the good stuff. But have no fear because you Belgian beer geeks have a guardian angel, yup that's right, I have a covert agent (she's actually my hairdresser) who is fighting for her, and your, national pride. If you ever see Kim Debree, give her a slap on the back and buy her a drink for making your country look so freakin' badass!
Augustijn - Blonde 7%
I love Belgium, I love Belgium almost as much as I love beer itself because when you think of Belgium, you think only of 2 things: The super awesome beer they have there and the logistics of getting several gallons of it in your face.Augustijn Blonde is a hefty 7% that, for me, embodies everything a Belgian blonde should be. It's frothy and excitable, smells as sweet as a sugar explosion in Willy Wonkas' (lesser known) bakery department and looks as appealing as [insert name of celebrity crush here] licking [insert favourite type of sauce here] off a [insert type of fruit that vaguely represents genitals here.] Though that doesn't really work for me because all I get from that is Sophie Ellis Bextor licking Brown Sauce off an Avocado... Which isn't very appealing at all! Augustijn Blonde, however, is VERY appealing, it pours exactly how beer pours in cartoons except better because I can't drink stuff straight from the TV... Yet.
The foam, like drunk clubbers pre-drinking at a Wetherspoons, is thick and rambunctious and the head muffin tops off the edge of the glass like a big girl who's decided to let it all hang out. We don't care, curves are sexy! Have I mentioned the smell yet? It smells like Belgium, to put it simply, you know that smell you get with EVERY Belgian blonde? Yep, pretty much that... Not that that's a bad thing, they got something right and they stuck to it. Fair play, I say.
The taste is a LOT smoother than I expected. Normally when I get a hefty blonde I expect a Zidane style head butt of booze but this is more akin to his foot work: subtle and skilful. The taste is sweet with hints of caramel but the star of the show is the body. Somehow they have created a delivery system for 7% worth of super-strength Belgian alco-booze that is as sweet and as easy to drink as its German counterparts, beers that are often a few percent lower. This beer is DANGEROUSLY drinkable which, at 7%, just makes it plain old dangerous.
Do blondes have more fun? I'm starting to suspect they do...
Food suggestion: I'd love a lamb shank with this, though I'd happily tolerate a basket of freshly made bread and some olives. I don't think food is a massive issue with this though as I would happily become fat, sustaining myself on the froth alone.
Drink this if you like: Staring at your beer because it's so damned pretty... Leffe Blonde is the obvious comparison but if you've had other Belgian blondes like Affligem and got along with them then you'll get along well with this. Equally, if you like Bruges Zote or Vedett then you would appreciate this too. There's a whole lot to love about this beer.
Augustijn - Brune 7%
Yet another big Belgian beer that rushes straight out of the blocks with a tower of head and heavy carbonation. It smells of rich, sweet, bread with a big old smack of caramel, all of which culminates and gives me the impression that I should not be drinking this out of the tiny Guinness brand, half pint, mug that I chose, but instead out of a witches cauldron inside a house made of gingerbread.I really don't know why it is that monks make the best or, at least, most exciting booze. They've given us, or have at least contributed to the creation of, many of the big names in European beer and, on top of that, they had the time to come up with Chartreusse, a super-mental drink that I barely remember drinking. I'm pretty sure monks had little to do with this beer but there's one on the label and that's good enough for me!
This is so deeply satisfying to drink because it embodies what a rich Belgian brune should have. It's got that slightly sickly sweet taste that is mellowed out by a smooth body and the playful foam. This is a joy both to drink and to look at. My tip would be to drink it out of a small glass, you only ever get a bit out at a time because it foams up so quickly but what that does is give you the impression that the bottle itself is never ending, as if you'd been cursed after an altercation with a gypsy fortune teller but she missed and hit your beer... Now your beer is destined to live on and on, never knowing death and seeing all the ones it loves age and decay...
NOPE! TOO LATE! ALL GONE! Take that, Never Ending Story! I just drank your face! How d'ya like them apples?! What's that? I can't hear you... You've got nofreakin' face!
...7% is the answer to the question you're thinking.
Food suggestion: Gimme a big sloppy jug of this in a pancake house and watch me make an absolute pig of myself.
Drink this if you like: Again, Leffe Brune is the obvious choice but you'll like this if you like Rum Cask by Innis & Gunn, there are a ton of similarities between the 2 though this is slightly more excitable and the Rum Cask is slightly higher percentage.
Augustijn - Grand Cru 9%
Big hoppy flavours with hints of bread and a delicious kick of fruit at the finish. I love how this is hoppy but not bitter and I really love how this is 9% but tastes like it could be 4%. It's another one of those ninja beers that lull you into a false sense of security and then, before you know it, there are shurikens all up in your business! I wouldn't suggest a heavy session of this but if you're out at a Belgian restaurant and you fancy something with your chips and mayo then you could do a lot worse than this. Maybe this isn't my favourite out of the 3 I've tried but it is a very likeable beer with deep character, complexity and a drinkability factor that is higher than many well established Belgian names.
This beer tastes big and, after half a glass it definitely FEELS big (that's what SHE said. Boom!) I suspect this could make a lot of proud men look like little sissy pansy men who can't hold their alcohol. Maybe they would be better suited to something more their speed, say... Oh I don't know, a Fosters shandy!
Food Suggestion: I really like the idea of this as a Christmas style beer because I think it'd go well with a leftover turkey sandwich with stuffing and cranberry sauce.
Drink this if you like: Similar in flavour to Kwak but similar in look to many Belgian blondes. A hybrid of sorts with a kick like Mirko CroCop.
No comments:
Post a Comment