Nils Oscar - Coffee Stout

Well there are precisely no prizes for guessing what this one's supposed to taste like, that is unless someone guesses something along the lines of: Carob, plastic bags, road kill etc. in which case I would hand out a prize for the stupidest answer ever and then back away lest I be infected with idiocy. Yes, this one's a stout and it's supposed to taste like coffee, no fancy name for this one but with such simplicity comes a certain level of expectation. You can't just go on Masterchef, make beans on toast and expect to win unless it's freakin' AMAZING beans on toast. So is this a case of looking simple and being simple or is this an example of how to fit Rocky IV into a bottle?

Well, it certainly is punchy and the coffee aroma is prominent, more so than you would expect in most stouts. The pour is gloopy and not unlike pouring black maple syrup, which produces a thin white head that quickly dissipates to form a white ring around the circumference of the meniscus. Sometimes, when I hold a stout up to the light, it turns out to be a very dark brown or sometimes even a very dark ruby but not this, I held this up to the light and it was like an eclipse, just utter darkness. So, on the surface at least, this seems like a proper stout.

The coffee flavours are VERY prominent! You would expect a rich, roasty, toasty, coffee taste but this tastes like GOOD coffee that's been carbonated and turned into a delicious stout. How very surprising! I would've sworn blind that this could not live up to the expectations cast by having such a simple name but that just teaches me (again) to:

a) Not judge a book by its cover.
and
b) Never doubt Nils Oscar.

On top of having a rich, dark, slightly sweet and almost chewable softness to the flavour, there is also the fact that this is a Nils Oscar beer which means:

a) All of the bottle blurb will be in Swedish so I have no chance of understanding what's going on... Which is fine... It makes this a bit more fun.
b) If you can taste the alcohol then you're looking too hard.
and
c) It's going to be as refreshing and as drinkable as a jug of ice water after a long day of eating nothing but salt, crackers and dusty old leather.

And that's an odd mix when you have a nice, refreshing, easily drinkable element mixed in with rich coffee flavours because what you get at the end is a heavy, creamy, smooth, milky, slightly chocolatey, mocha frappacino except without all the stupid ice and with an alcohol content that you can proudly write home about. 6.4%? Sounds just right to me... It means I can have between 5 and 6 without passing out or being violently ill!

I don't often say this in my reviews but I highly recommend you buy this if you can find it. It is just such a rarity in this country, which is unfortunate because this is a continuation of the extremely high standard at Nils Oscar. I'm starting to wonder what's going on in Sweden because their GOOD beer is BRILLIANT beer! I wonder what the stuff they're saving for a special occasion is like! I bet it'd blow my freakin' face off.

Food Suggestion: I would be totally tempted to have a biscotti with this, but not one of those crappy little ones, I'd demand one of the long fingers with nuts and all sorts of other jazz stuffed into it. This drink is as fancy as fu... A poodle in a fez and, hence, deserves a little charm, a little sophistication, a little panache when considering an accompaniment. Either that or a fist full of cake, ya big mess!

Drink this if you like: Coffee but feel the haunting war cries of your ancestors reverberating through your very being as you sit in chain coffee shops in your suit and your tie and your Pringle socks, all the time wishing you had an axe in one hand and the, still bleeding, head of your foe in the other. One day, my Viking friend, one day you will be free, but for now just let the world think you're fishing your, foot long, beard out of a lovely mocha latte... Let them all convince themselves they're safe... Fools.