The Five Bells Special

I am really bloody lucky to have a pub less than fifty steps from my house, I am even luckier when you consider that that pub is The Five Bells, a place that holds many distant, childhood, memories of chips and Orangina but now holds a place in my heart for supplying me with a range of fantastic local fare and fantastic local beer. For any weary traveller, for any beer connoisseur, for anyone in search of a good meal and a delicious pint, The Five Bells in East Brabourne is a home away from home. There are 2 things that really stand out for me and, rather predictably, they are both beers they have on tap. They often have guest appearances from Hopdeamon and Goachers of Faversham and Maidstone respectively as well as the occasional cameo of Gadds of Ramsgate but the 2 that really stand out for me are the 2 they have there every time I go in...

Chapel Down - Curious Brew

You might notice that the glass in the picture is a bit empty. When you get Cruious Brew on tap you tend to forget pretty much everything else. In a previous blog I described this drink as dangerously drinkable, drinkable to the point that I would happily drown in the stuff, well I will explain to you why I consider it so highly within the world of beer. It pours like a lager and, for all intents and purposes is indeed a lager, but it has the complexity of an IPA of double the price and the ability to quench thirst like a jug of ice water, poured from a jug that was crafted of ice, happiness and the tears of God! It drinks like a Helles style lager, which the Germans will tell you is one of the few types of beers worth drinking, and it has a range of different flavours which evoke a range of different feelings. It is lightly hoppy with twinges of grapefruit whilst having a cloudy creaminess and a mix of honey and caramel as a pleasing after taste.

For a pint you'll expect to pay a lot closer to a fiver than you would normally like but for that you are getting a pint of Ambrosia, the closest us mere mortals will ever get to drinking the nectar of the gods. I often go to the pub with my girlfriend and, as romantic as the scenery, the roaring fire, the smell of fresh bread, the quirky tables and chairs, are, I do find my myself wandering off into a world of my own where there is just me and my pint. That's how delicious this beer is. For me it just ticks all the boxes, it's not over powering, it's not so subtle that it becomes bland, it is a work of artistry.

... Don't buy it bottled. It tastes like piss when it's bottled.

Food Suggestion: They have a Five Bells burger that comes on a slab of wood, is served with a small metal bucket of gorgeous chips and is, maybe, the best burger you'll ever eat (in Kent.) I matched these 2 up the last time I went as part of the poshest 'beer and burger' combo I've ever experienced. You need to do it.

Drink this if you like: Hofbrau, Lowenbrau, Augustiner, Spatenbrau, Hacker-Pschorr or Paulaner... Basically if you've ever been to Oktoberfest.

Brabourne Stout

If Curious Brew is their lead lager than Brabourne Stout is their house speciality, a deep, almost obsidian, velvet stout, that goes down like a tub of double cream and tastes like licking Willy Wonka's coffee filter. Made by Goachers of Maidstone (Imperial Stout) this heady mix of coffee, alcohol and a bitter box of milk tray is perfect to start a night, end a night, completely forget a night and though not quite as drinkable as the Curious, very few things are. This pint can disappear in 30 seconds flat and bring a smile to your face while burning a hole in your wallet at the same time.

At Christmas my girlfriends' sisters' parents in law came over from Boston and I felt it my absolute duty to get one of them addicted to Brabourne Stout and that they verily did. The words "Jeez! What's up with this beer?!" were uttered several times, which I took to be a good sign as pint after pint vanished and the potential for a massive Christmas hangover increased exponentially.

Food Suggestion: They have, on their desert menu (a lot of the time at least,) a fresh, still warm out of the oven, chocolate and beetroot brownie, served with vanilla ice cream that melts into and makes a deliciously gooey mess. Buy that... Then buy another one and drink Brabourne Stout with it... Then go to weight watchers and blame Drew for being so fat.

Drink this if you like: It's not quite as chocolatey as Choklat by Southern Tier, nor does it quite have the coffee edge of some others but it has just the right mix. If you like real stout then you'll get along with this just fine.