Thornbridge - Tzara

I've never been Koln but I certainly know that Thornbridge, as a brewery, can do precisely no wrong. I've been gorging myself, recently, on their entire repertoire and I've finally come to Tzara, something that looks and smells like an exquisitely crafted German lager, which appeals to my beer sensibilities like flowers with loose morals appeal to amorous bees. The taste has hints of syrupy figs with slightly stronger hops than you might expect, the body is crisp and extremely refreshing, it seems like the kind of beer that I could either drink very quickly before ordering another or slowly drink myself to death on over the course of several, mostly forgettable but none-the-less enjoyable, years. There's even a hint of orange peel when you decide to chug half the glass... Which you almost certainly will because you're a beer geek like me, which means you have no will power and possess mild OCD over things that either don't matter or are delicious.

There really are no words to describe how awesome Thornbridge are... Apart from the following: Thornbridge are probably THE BEST English brewer and that's because they just seem to have so much passion for making exquisite beer that appeals to the entire spectrum of beer drinkers as well as the entire spectrum of non-beer drinkers. I have no doubt that I could convert people to drinking beer with something from Thornbridge. They even have ridiculous, small-batch, stuff that you could quite easily equate to being like the Champagne of beer.

Drink Tzara cold and, because it's 4.8%, pour loads of bottles into a giant bucket and drink Tzara until happiness occurs.

Buy Tzara at The Bottle Shop in Canterbury and drink it out of one of their specially branded pint glasses for bonus points. It doesn't make it taste any better but it sure does make you look like some sort of king.

Food Suggestion: It's a German style beer, you know what I'm going to say... SAUSAGE! MASH! SAURKRAUT! MUSTARD! ... MAYBE A PRETZEL! BAM! That's good eatin'.

Drink this if you like: Augustiner, Ayinger, Spaten, Hofbrau and for all you plebs out there then, I guess, Becks.

Nils Oscar

Hop Yard IPA

I'm starting to suspect that everything Nils Oscar create is going to be something special. My only previous experience with them and, indeed, with Swedish beer as a whole was God Lager but now I sit here staring at a muddy crystal that I can smell from half way across the room. On the nose it's very rye orientated and the hops are in abundance but, not unlike the God Lager, the star of the show is how deeply satisfying this beer is to just throw down your neck! There are some beers that are for sipping, some that suit small mouth fulls, but not the Nils Oscar clan, as classy as they seem, you would be forgiven for just annihilating bottle after bottle in a matter of minutes. I would not advise actually doing that with this IPA though because at 7.3% it is no slouch and if you don't give it the respect it deserves then it's going to bend you over a barrel and re-enact some choice scenes from Pulp Fiction with you.

There is slight bitterness hiding in the expertly built housing of its supremely well rounded body but this beer will appeal to anyone who has even looked at an ale in the supermarket and wondered to themselves "hmmmm, I wonder what that tastes like." It's a lovely IPA and it does credit to a nation that brought us the likes of Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time and Victoria Silvstedt. High praise indeed!

Food Suggestion: Maple cured bacon! A big fistful of maple cured bacon! A bucket of maple cured bacon so big that you later suffer from severe heart defects as a direct result.

Drink this if you like: Rye IPA by De Molen... Which is a little tough to come across by regular means or Meantime IPA... Which you can buy by the wine bottle!

Kalasöl

I don't know what Kalasöl is or what it means or whether it's just a name or a beer type, all I want to know is how it tastes because it looks as delicious and fresh as the rest of the Nils Oscar range, the only difference being that this smells like a tea loaf made with caramelised brown sugar. This seems like a Dunkel or Belgian brun, is this a new name? I'm not going to do any research, I find it spoils first impressions, so I'm cool with this being a new name for a type of beer I'm completely familiar with.

It tastes like syrup loaf! It's sweet but, at the same time, also seems to be the most civilised of the group though maybe that's because dark, brown, ale isn't meant for chugging. With that it loses a bit of the charm that the others have. I want to love this but it will have to settle for me very much liking it.

Food Suggestion: I had this with some honeyed figs... I didn't hate it.

Drink this if you like: Orkney Island brewery because if you're a fan of them then you're going to be a fan of this.  

Pilsner Urquell and Budweiser Budvar

Pilsner Urquell

There are few things in life that I like better than a perfectly chilled Pilsner on a hot summer's day. Maybe a perfectly chilled Pilsner on a frosty day at the end of winter to remind me that summer is around the corner. Not the point. You don't have to look far if you're in search of one, just go to the Czech Republic, they'll sort you out, no problems. Urquell is readily available in supermarkets across the country and, therefore, you have no freakin' excuse not to try it.

This beer pours like fizzy honey and has a woody quality on the nose, it tastes crisp and fresh, it does everything a Czech Pilsner should do: 1) Quench the thirst like a badass, 2) Have subtle flavours that distinguish the beer from other beer, 3) Be extremely satisfying to drink, especially when it's hot. It's not hot but Urquell is still extremely satisfying to drink, it is just a good beer for sessioning, you don't need to think about what's going on, you just need to know that the quality is there. You can enjoy all the other things going on in the pub.

Whether chugging with friends from university or enjoying over a family meal, you can't go far wrong with the 4.4% Pilsner Urquell. A lovely pint.

Food Suggestion: This can be enjoyed with a range of things from simple pub snacks like pork scratchings and crisps to heart meals like stew and meatloaf.

Drink this if you like: Tzara by Thornbridge or any light, crisp, blonde beer really.


Budweiser Budvar

Originally exported to the US in 1871, Budweiser has a long and storied history... But I don't care about that, I just care about the beer and the burning question when trying this is "is it better than the mass produced American Budweiser?" Well, there's a long answer and a short answer. The long answer is that they are, essentially, the same beer but time has brought alterations that are unique to the specific environments and the respective market activities. The short answer is YES, it is a lot better.

Budweiser Budvar is deliciously smooth and fresh with an underlying sweetness and a darker complexion than its American cousin. The American Bud FEELS mass produced whereas you could imagine drinking Budvar in a small taverna in the country and you wouldn't be surprised to hear that it was made by a local brewery.

The Czechs are real contenders in world beer so if the American Bud is the "king of beers" then this must be the God of beers... Neither statements are, in fact, true. The American Bud is the inbred cousin of a vastly superior specimen, the inbred cousin who managed to get famous on a reality TV show. Budvar is superior yet Budweiser US is the one served on taps and in bottles in every pub and bar around the world. Where is the justice?

Food Suggestion: It's a delicious Pilsner that's crisp and deeply satisfying, have it with a burger. A gourmet freakin' burger that slathers relish down your greasy face. Napkins are for the weak!

Drink this if you like: Ayinger, Vedett or... Pilsner Urquell. NOT BUDWEISER U.S. though, drink this if you DON'T like that.

Old Dairy Brewery - Fresh Hop

It is my ingrained sense of local pride that lead me to The Offy in Whitstable, an off license that has a corner devoted to local beers, there were representatives from Ramsgate and Maidstone, Canterbury, Faversham and Whitstable itself. After a lengthy conversation with an ale loving veteran who I managed to discourage from buying Canterbury Jack, I settled on Gadd's Dog Bolter and the subject of this review, Rolvenden's own Old Dairy Brewery and their green hopped ale. I have had Old Dairy before and I've always been impressed with their standard if never completely wowed by them (it takes a lot to wow me nowadays,) but it is still obvious to me that they are more than competent of consistently making a high standard of beer.

Fresh Hop, as it suggests, uses fresh hops and, after talking with, who I assumed was, the owner of The Offy, is entirely seasonal. Apparently they only get this beer in for a couple of weeks of the year before it's gone again, so I am both happy and sad I got it. I'm happy because I love the exclusivity of it but if I really like it then I won't be able to get it again until next year. Upon pouring the pint and reading the bottle I was already half of the way to being swayed towards Fresh Hop, it's unpasteurised on top of being fresh and it pours a frisky, cloudy, light brown beer that looks a whole lot like wheat beer.

Now, I don't know if it's just me but I've noticed that one or two of the old dairy repertoire, including this one, have very smooth, fatty, milky qualities to the texture which are both endearing and intensely satisfying. The fact that the beer looks a little milky can't be a coincidence surely?

What you get, when you finally stop analysing and start drinking, is a smooth, milky, body and biscuit sweetness followed by a slightly bitter finish. Old Dairy Brewery are in a talent pool of Kentish brewers that include the likes of Hopdaemon, Whistable Brewery, Gadd's and Goachers, which makes competition tough because they are all well accomplished brewers but if Old Dairy Brewery keep making stuff like this then they well soon get the national recognition they deserve. I, for one, recognise this as a bloody lovely pint that I would quite happily whittle away an evening with. It just sucks that I have to wait a year to have another.

Food Suggestion: I like the idea of something sharp with this, some sort of fresh lemon cookies or some pancakes with a squeeze of lemon and a sprinkle of sugar.

Drink this if you like: This really reminds me of the delicious Helles style beers I had in Munich, it's the freshness with a little bite that really makes it sing. If you like a GOOD Czech Pilsner then I reckon you'll like this.

St Austell - Proper Job

They're not kidding! This is an IPA done well, this is an IPA with big powerful hop flavours that leave a little tingle in your mouth, have a tinge of bitterness and medium carbonation, all of which adds up to a deliciously satisfying pint of bottle conditioned ale that I could drink for days and weeks and months and years until my liver turned to sponge and my kidneys became petrified statues of crying gargoyles. Back in September I wrote a review for Tribute by St. Austell and said that Tribute should be the standard against which all other ales should be measured, I would now like to suggest that Proper Job be the benchmark to which all good IPAs should be measured, I'm not talking about Greene King, though I guess that has more flavour than most mass produced rubbish out there, no, I'm talking about IPAs like Jaipur and Skrimshander, Goose Island and Torpedo, all of the ones that are slightly off the beaten path, the ones that occupy the dustier shelves in supermarkets.

Proper Job really is that tasty, it tastes clean with little hints of a milky texture and the after taste is not unlike the very end of a bag of sour Haribo. That's all just a sideshow though, the real star of the show is the combination between the big, bitter, hop tastes and the carbonation which makes this as drinkable as chilled cream soda and as likeable as freshly ironed, tight fitting, underwear on a snowy day.

I can't help but gush about St. Austell because they make beer that is far reaching enough to appeal to supermarkets (though this one is not available everywhere,) whilst still retaining the strength of character to outshine beers like the ridiculously popular Doom Bar as well as most offerings from their local rivals Skinner's. Proper Job is a beer for the beer drinker in everyone from the beer drinker who knows he's a beer drinker to the casual ale-curious individual to the poor folk who are completely baffled by all the funny looking labels. It's not, by any means, the most complex or most interesting beer I've ever tasted but it sure is one of the most accessible, one of the most friendly and one of the most inviting. Proper Job doesn't judge you, I get the impression that Proper Job just wants to be your friend.

Food Suggestion: Pork roast, lovely pork roast with crackling and some nice, crispy, spuds. Yeah, that'll do it.

Drink this if you like: The Meantime IPA is a similar beast to Proper Job, whilst having a higher percentage. Torpedo IPA by Sierra Nevada is like Proper Job... Just bigger... So that's something to consider.

Williams Bros Brewing Co - Caesar Augustus

Great Odin's Raven! There are literally no words to describe how frothy and uncontrollable this beer is. I don't want to to go out on a limb and say they're all like this because I might have dropped this one but I never drop beer because of that on time in Sainsbury's when I broke a bottle of Hardcore IPA, ran around the store trying to find someone to clean it up before offering to pay for it because I felt so bad about spilling good beer. The worst thing that may have happened to the bottle is that it might have rolled around a bit on the bottom of my car on the way home from the shops, which all bottles do and this is by far the worst reaction I've ever had. I poured the beer 4 minutes ago and I've only gotten to the half way point! There's just so much froth!

The beer sure does smell delicious and because this is a hybrid between lager and IPA (my two favourite types of beer,) I was expecting big things, I wasn't expecting the big thing to be the wait I had to tolerate before I could actually get at the beer. This is so close to being a deal breaker! The only thing keeping me interested is the fact that I want to see what a lager/IPA hybrid tastes like.

It smells like a decent IPA with nice strong hops and looks like a lager... So far so good. EXCEPT FOR THE 7 minute total wait to actually drink this thing! (I'm not a particularly patient man by nature.) On the surface it's providing what was advertised.

OK... This is just a massively carbonated IPA. It's a nice enough IPA but that's it! This review is over! I'm going to drink the rest of it but there is entirely nothing special about this. Maybe if it didn't take so bloody long to settle then I would've looked on it more favourably, but it didn't, so I won't. A poor showing from Scotland, who I have been impressed with up until the last 2 beers I've had and a terrible showing from the buyers at Sainsbury's who seem to think this is anything special.

Food Suggestion: If you pour this and then start making a pot roast from scratch then it may have settled by the time the pot roast is done.

Drink this if you like: When you are kept waiting for something that isn't entirely impressive... Drink this if you're a fan of Coldplay.

Jameson - Select Reserve

The planets have aligned and I have found myself in the coveted position of having enough money to afford a lovely bottle of whiskey but it's always tough when this happens because I go into the choice blind and, like a diabetic pondering upon their 1 chocolate bar for the year, I have to agonise over the pros and cons of purchasing each and every bottle on sale... In the end I settled for the one that was reduced by £10... Because as much as the single malts called out to me, they were all really bloody expensive. This whiskey also holds some significance for me as, last year, my girlfriend and I visited the Jameson distillery in Dublin, an experience that I enjoyed entirely too much. It was, however, when I was traipsing through the gift shop, attempting to buy gifts for people that they neither needed nor particularly wanted, that I saw a bottle of the Select Reserve. It may have been the lighting or it may have been the Americans jostling around behind me and trying on hats but in that moment I was jealous of the very shelf that that bottle sat on. I admit I was swept up in the pro-Jameson propaganda that you were bound to get at the Jameson distillery but now that I've had the Select Reserve, I am not an unhappy man.

The aroma is deliciously woody and the it has hints of brown sugar on the palate, I would describe it (predictably) as regular Jameson, just better. It's still the same delicious and inclusive whiskey that the standard model is, but maybe it's not one for the connoisseurs. I shall explain myself. I drink beer because I love the intricacies and the varying depths in flavour that differentiate brands and nationalities. I drink whiskey because I like drinking whiskey and, thus, am somewhat less tolerant of whiskey that challenges me. If I'm drinking whiskey it means I want something that appeals, lazily and languidly, to my own personal tastes. For me, in the world of whiskey, you don't have to be fantastically complex to be good... You just have to be, well, GOOD to be good, something that is completely subjective. I know what I like, you know what you like; I really don't get along with heavily peated whiskies but my dad doesn't drink anything but, what I like to call, "Ashtray Whiskey."

What I think, however, is that whatever you like, you'll like this. It's just such a good standard for whiskey! There is neither too much or too little of anything and is well worth the £20 I paid for it. Would I pay the full price for it though? NO! My favourite whiskies are cheaper and appeal more to my particular taste combinations. That doesn't mean you shouldn't pay full price for it though, it could be your perfect whiskey, you never know.

Food Suggestion: I really like the idea of this with a big old pork pie with some sort of pickle or chutney.

Drink this if you like: Any variation of the Jameson brand, Johnnie Walker or even some of the higher end bourbons have similar characteristics to this. It's not peaty, it's quite light and has cereal notes so it's one to be enjoyed at any time.

Brouwerij De Molen - Tsarina Esra

I trust the Dutch when it comes to certain things, I trust their opinions on pornography, kick boxing and I trust that they can make light of any serious and/or shocking situation as if they had encountered it several times over breakfast. I never used to trust them with beer... Until today. Brouwerij De Molen, I imagine, must mean something along the lines of "We don't like you... You drink our beer! You do it! You do it and you like it!" Which, maybe, seems a tad unlikely, but that's the impression I got from the 2 beers of theirs I have sampled. Tsarina Esra, if at all possible, was the milder one but, saying that, it was still an almost entirely untamed beast that, if left unchecked, would entirely strip you of your taste buds and the roof of your mouth. It is unapologetic for what it is, it's an Imperial Porter, it's named after a Tsarina who, as far as I can see, isn't a real person and it probes you and touches you and tests you in ways you would not expect any beer to do.

On the nose it smells of burnt caramel, ever so slightly caustic to give you an idea of what you've let yourself in for, it's the kind of smell that you would expect on a scratch and sniff warning sign outside the lair of great, ruby encrusted, dragon. It tastes as bitter-sweet as a chocolatey, espresso, porter should but this little beauty has hints of cola and crusty bread in there, if only you decide to look for them, it is so rich and deeply complex that I would need another one just to map out all the flavours. HOWEVER! At £6.50 for 33cl you're not getting a lot of liquid for your hard earned currency but you are getting a bucket load of flavour that seems a lot greater than the sum of its' parts.

Definitely to be had cold as it seems to be rather frisky on the pour but if you tame it just right you get a satisfying amount of thick white head that just makes it look like a bloody good drink. With this one beer the Dutch have won me over.

Brouwerij De Molen have an imperial stout called Rasputin which, as you can imagine, is only 0.3% lower in strength than this 11% monster but somehow manages to fight with the gloves off. It seems so much more feral and untamable, but that is a review for another day.

Tsarina Esra was pruchased from The Bottle Shop in Canterbury, where I purchase other such beers that resemble bottled rainbows and the fermented tears of Odin.

Food Suggestion: Stew, thick hearty stew, made with inferior stouts and porters to show the brewers of those inferior beers what happens when you make something that isn't BLOODY AMAZING!

Drink this if you like: The closest one I can think of to this would be Black Albert by Struise, another ELITE level stout by an ELITE level Belgian microbrewery. I highlight the word ELITE because these beers are the difference between good beer and exceptional beer. It is worth investing in a more expensive bottle of beer, especially if you happen to find something like Tsarina Esra around.

Meantime - India Pale Ale

Maybe not the most imaginative name in the world but you get what it says on the bottle. Meantime are a typically no nonsense brand who deliver exactly what they say they're going to deliver... With the exception of their chocolate porter, which tastes more like coffee but they can't exactly be blamed for that, Porters are hard. Everything about this IPA is no nonsense, from its simple name to its gargantuan bottle, a 750ml bottle of 7.4% beer, which is equivalent to a bottle of weak wine but  immeasurably more pleasurable.

On the nose it smells a bit like liquorice and rye bread and it's coloured a thick, murky, brown with a head frothy enough for you to genuinely wonder whether anything lurks in the shadows of your hefty glass. It looks, for all intents and purposes, like swamp water but tastes like a toastie made with burnt nutella or dark chocolate and rye. It's smooth with a slight caustic bitterness that isn't unpleasant and adds a different level. I wouldn't call this a traditional IPA, though it may claim to be, but maybe that's because modern IPAs seem to be more powerful with their hopping where this has used different, more subtle hops.

Meantime IPA can be bought by the wine bottle for less than a fiver in most shops and is well worth your time, money and effort. Buy it if you fancy something interesting and don't intend on driving for a couple of days.

Food Suggestion: The label says it would go well with Indian cuisine and it's hard to disagree with that. I can see this going especially well with a Biryani or a Madras, nothing too hot, this isn't a glass of milk, it won't help you.

Drink this if you like: I've not come across these flavour combinations in a beer before, they're interesting and confusing, whilst being deeply enjoyable. If you like other London staples like Fuller's or Brodie's, or if you enjoy the rest of the Meantime repertoire then you are bound to enjoy this.

Mata - Manuka Golden Ale

I've never had anything that's been flavoured with Manuka honey before and I generally don't associate with people who do because most of those people think that it cures cancer because it isn't English honey or that it can make you see in the dark because Victoria Beckham said so. One person, however, who doesn't think either of those things is resident Kiwi, Betsy. As well as finding me a delicious APA she also bought me somewhat of a novelty that bore specific meaning with her as it is the same type of beer that her own cousin brews.

First impressions! It pours like melted gold that's been put through a soda stream, it's got high carbonation and a thin head, I can smell light hops and light honeyed notes mixed in with a cereal aroma, so that's the senses of sight and smell on board. Does the taste live up to that standard? Oh my, yes... Yes it does. You can always tell when a honey flavoured beer is done well because it'll taste 60-70% like the cereal "honey loops." This hits the nail on the head, delivering an easily drinkable, mostly sweet, beer with cereal smoothness and an enticing aroma.

It may not be as complex as some beers but I appreciate a beer that does what it sets out to do, it's even better when they do it as well as Mata have. It is clear, to me at least, that the head brewer wanted to make a delicious, smooth, beer that people could drink at any occasion, but he wanted it to stand out from the crowd. Bam! Little bit of Manuka for sweetness. No messing around, just a bit of sweetness and it's all plain sailing. And it is! Plain sailing that is... However, that's what you'd need to do to get yourself one of these, that is unless you're lucky enough to live in the land where they butchered millions of Orcs and swear blind that they're not Australian.

All that matters right now, though, is that N'Zealand are 2-0 up on the Aussies in my rankings. 2 delicious beers from a country that I wasn't even sure made beer... Which is an idiotic thought in retrospect.

Food suggestion: Burger! A proper burger from a posh pub or even GBK if you're desperate. Yeah, that'll do it, a fat burger, dripping in sweet sauce and relish in a soft bun. That's a combination you can take to the bank! Though don't do that, you can't really do much with a flavour combination at a bank.

Drink this if you like: Honeydew by Fuller's is IDENTICAL to this. They could be twins... Separated at birth.

Tuatara - Aotearoa Pale Ale

Ask and you shall receive, a philosophy that normally gets you little more than a slap, has come up with the goods... And I didn't even have to ask! It's like Christmas! (Which was several weeks ago.) One of my favourite N'Zealanders (and I say N'Zealand because I like shortening it to make it sound totally rad,) Betsy Bicknell, recently returned from her motherland with a bundle of beers for me to review and, for that, I am immensely grateful. She did not, however, tell me how to pronounce any of these words...

This APA, as they call, pours a golden brown with a frisky froth that settles down quickly. It has all those big hop smells that you would expect from something that walks and talks like an IPA under a different name but with the intriguing scent of fresh mint in the bouquet to mix things up a little bit. It is as refreshing as it is interesting, passing through a couple of flavour combinations before ending with a honeyed, bitter, finish. It's a very interesting beer and easily drinkable for anyone who appreciates the brewing arts though maybe it's a bit too bitter for the Carling/Fosters crew... Who shouldn't be reading this blog because their opinions on beer are void.

A tuatara is a funky looking, spiky, lizard type thing that lives in New Zealand and I can definitely feel a bit of spike coming through the refreshing texture of the beer, but that works to enliven the senses and keeping you wanting more. I really am dumbstruck as to how they managed to infuse a whiff of fresh mint, a taste of honey and still make a strong pale ale that is both as bitter as licking salted sandpaper but as refreshing as beer bonging a whole watermelon whilst holidaying inside a lovely, scenic, kiln. Someone in N'Zealand has some magic in them, and I'm not talking Harry Potter magic, I'm talking about real magic... Beer magic!

I've got to tell you, if this is indicative of all N'Zealand beer then I'm booking myself a flight. They may always beat us at Rugby and have more sheep than us (which means more lamb hot pots and shanks and whatnot,) but I begrudge them nothing. On top of that, more importantly, this puts them well ahead of Australia in my own personal beer rankings. I know Oz has James Squire and Little Creatures, which I am yet to try, but this is just such a delicious beer! It's fragrant, smooth and packs quite a punch because at 5.8% it hits a sort of sweet spot of session drinking for the heavy drinker.

If you, like I, have a N'Zealand native friend like Bitzy (that's how they say it I imagine... I don't really know, blame Flight of the Concordes,) then make sure they bring you back a bottle of this. If you don't then don't look at the shipping prices, they'll just make you sad.

Food suggestion: Because of the mint and honey elements I'd be hard pressed to say that this could go with anything better than lamb... Is that racist? I don't care, I bet it freakin' works, you try it! Roast up a joint of lamb with a bunch of mint sauce or, if you're feeling saucy, I bet a mutton biriyani would work amazingly well with this.

Drink this if you like: St. Austell's Proper Job or Cannonball by Magic Rock. It's got bags of flavour but it's deep and as moreish as chocolate covered heroin.

Leffe - Blonde and Brune

Leff, Leffay, Leaf, whichever potentially incorrect way you pronounce it, there is one thing that is clear about Leffe and it is that it is the standard to which all Belgian beer and, hence, ALL beer must be measured. It is the yardstick of the casual alcoholic and the Geiger counter of the occasionally double sighted. It is not the best beer in the world but it is the highest consistent standard of beer in the world. There is a reason why, if a pub in England or America, wants to branch out and serve Belgian beer but have never actually been to Belgium, they go for Leffe Blonde (they also go for Hoegaarden, which isn't the smartest move in the world.) I shall explain why.

I will, however, preface this by praising the person who donated this lovely gift set to me, the consummately lovely Cat Anckorn (my girlfriend and, in fact, the supplier of A LOT of my beers.)

Leffe Blonde:

I can't put my finger on exactly why Leffe Blonde is as popular as it is, I mean there's a list of reasons as long as my list of X Factor contestants and Z list celebrities I wish would disappear for ever, but maybe not one that has significant enough a majority to claim absolute rule. There is the fact that if you go to Belgium it, along with Jupiler and Maes, will probably be the first drink you have there and among the three it will definitely be the most satisfying. Maybe it's because it comes in what looks like a mix between a wine glass and a goblet, presentation isn't everything but people who say it doesn't count are bloody idiots. I'm sure the fact that it pours like liquid gold and froths happily to itself while you sit around and watch the world waltz by has something to do with it but, more than likely, I think it's probably the fact that the first taste, and I'm talking about the FIRST taste of it, is like a sweet shop was caught in the middle of a horrible crash between a beer truck and a pretzel wagon. It's so deliciously balanced, bringing sweetness to stickiness to breadiness to more sweetness. It tastes like freshly buttered brioche and is as refreshing as a Czech Pilsner. I could drink Leffe Blonde all day... I reckon I have before but I honestly don't/can't remember.

Food suggestion: It may sound trashy but you should eat this with a burger. I guess you could class it up a bit by having blue cheese on the burger but that's really up to you.

Drink this if you like: Innis and Gunn Whisky Cask.


Leffe Brune:

The first time I ever went to my favourite Belgian restaurant La Trappiste in Canterbury I struck up a conversation with a Belgian gentleman who had worked the bar for several years and had worked various bars around the world. I asked him to give me the best Brune he had available, I had looked through their extensive list of beers and had seen hundreds of exciting and fantastical brunes with words like "baffling" and "intricate" written into their descriptions. He poured me a glass of Leffe Brune. "It is my favourite and therefore it is the best," he said, whilst pouring a pint of Fruli for my girlfriend. I have to admit I was a little disappointed, there was a whole world of brune to try and he had given me the one they sell in supermarkets. Well, there's a reason why they do and that's because it is, at it's core a truly delicious beer that looks like a stout or porter and tastes like crème brulee. I can compare it to the blonde by saying what it gives up in the ability to refresh, and it doesn't give up a lot, it more than makes up for in sweetness. If the blonde was buttered brioche then this is Nutella on a big chunk of wholemeal bread. I will always remember this as the first of what I like to call "Ninja" beer as the first time I ever had it was the first time I ever lost the feeling in my legs through drinking... Maybe not that healthy but it's so tasty that you'll just want to drink it again and again.

Food suggestion: A chunk of Belgian chocolate, dark preferably but if you're not down with that kind of thing then you can go for milk.

Drink this if you like: Innis and Gunn Rhum Cask.