Nils Oscar - Imperial Stout

Ahhhhh, now this is the one I've really been looking forward to, though when I say that about anything it often turns out to be a horrible disappointment but I suspect that's not the case with this one and there are a couple of reasons behind that. The first of those reasons is that every imperial stout I've ever had has felt like the head brewer of that company has just decided to have a bit of fun and make a BIG beer with BIG flavour and enough alcohol to kill a horse. At 7% you could consider this rather restrained for the breed but I prefer to think of it as measured because 7% seems about right.

Whoa! I just opened the bottle, took a sniff and the very first thing I got was the strong smell of bacon bits! This could be an interesting drink! The pour is thick and heady with two fingers of off-white cola foam that remains to form an aesthetically pleasing head. This smells like it's going to be more of a savoury drink than a bitter drink and I mean savoury as in sausages, BBQ chicken and salted peanuts. My hopes are officially up!

It feels very smooth and the taste seems to roll through several stages as the beer washes and rolls around your palate, eventually ending up in a slightly bitter-sweet fennel area. Before that you get hints of bread and cola as well as the usual hints of coffee and chocolate you seem to always get with stouts. In what is turning out to be a trademark of Nils Oscar, this Imperial Stout seems to have 2 contrasting characteristics which work well in an uncanny and slightly illogical way. Let me explain. Like all Nils Oscar beers, this is as easy to drink as a can of diet air but because of all the flavours going on, as well as the relatively high alcohol content, this beer also gives you a lovingly warm glowing sensation after you take a decent chug... Which is ridiculously easy to do because it's Nils Oscar.

So, to sum it up, you've got a beer that drinks like a smooth and creamy pale ale or lager but has the taste and complexity of a deliciously rich stout and the warming glow of a Trappist H-Bomb of a beer. This Imperial Stout is just so impressive because it's got everything, not only that but it has everything in balance! Nothing is overpowering, nothing is offensive or cloying, all the tastes and aromas compliment each other, there's nothing more I could ask for!

It makes me sad that after these free bottles have gone (and they'll go quickly) I will not see much of Nils Oscar in this country and that is a tragedy for beer fans nationwide.

Food Suggestion: Lamb hot pot or lamb roast, I really like the idea of this with a big old, fatty, leg with roasties and mint sauce.

Drink this if you like: Delicious, delicious, stout that tastes like happiness... Duh?

Nils Oscar - Coffee Stout

Well there are precisely no prizes for guessing what this one's supposed to taste like, that is unless someone guesses something along the lines of: Carob, plastic bags, road kill etc. in which case I would hand out a prize for the stupidest answer ever and then back away lest I be infected with idiocy. Yes, this one's a stout and it's supposed to taste like coffee, no fancy name for this one but with such simplicity comes a certain level of expectation. You can't just go on Masterchef, make beans on toast and expect to win unless it's freakin' AMAZING beans on toast. So is this a case of looking simple and being simple or is this an example of how to fit Rocky IV into a bottle?

Well, it certainly is punchy and the coffee aroma is prominent, more so than you would expect in most stouts. The pour is gloopy and not unlike pouring black maple syrup, which produces a thin white head that quickly dissipates to form a white ring around the circumference of the meniscus. Sometimes, when I hold a stout up to the light, it turns out to be a very dark brown or sometimes even a very dark ruby but not this, I held this up to the light and it was like an eclipse, just utter darkness. So, on the surface at least, this seems like a proper stout.

The coffee flavours are VERY prominent! You would expect a rich, roasty, toasty, coffee taste but this tastes like GOOD coffee that's been carbonated and turned into a delicious stout. How very surprising! I would've sworn blind that this could not live up to the expectations cast by having such a simple name but that just teaches me (again) to:

a) Not judge a book by its cover.
and
b) Never doubt Nils Oscar.

On top of having a rich, dark, slightly sweet and almost chewable softness to the flavour, there is also the fact that this is a Nils Oscar beer which means:

a) All of the bottle blurb will be in Swedish so I have no chance of understanding what's going on... Which is fine... It makes this a bit more fun.
b) If you can taste the alcohol then you're looking too hard.
and
c) It's going to be as refreshing and as drinkable as a jug of ice water after a long day of eating nothing but salt, crackers and dusty old leather.

And that's an odd mix when you have a nice, refreshing, easily drinkable element mixed in with rich coffee flavours because what you get at the end is a heavy, creamy, smooth, milky, slightly chocolatey, mocha frappacino except without all the stupid ice and with an alcohol content that you can proudly write home about. 6.4%? Sounds just right to me... It means I can have between 5 and 6 without passing out or being violently ill!

I don't often say this in my reviews but I highly recommend you buy this if you can find it. It is just such a rarity in this country, which is unfortunate because this is a continuation of the extremely high standard at Nils Oscar. I'm starting to wonder what's going on in Sweden because their GOOD beer is BRILLIANT beer! I wonder what the stuff they're saving for a special occasion is like! I bet it'd blow my freakin' face off.

Food Suggestion: I would be totally tempted to have a biscotti with this, but not one of those crappy little ones, I'd demand one of the long fingers with nuts and all sorts of other jazz stuffed into it. This drink is as fancy as fu... A poodle in a fez and, hence, deserves a little charm, a little sophistication, a little panache when considering an accompaniment. Either that or a fist full of cake, ya big mess!

Drink this if you like: Coffee but feel the haunting war cries of your ancestors reverberating through your very being as you sit in chain coffee shops in your suit and your tie and your Pringle socks, all the time wishing you had an axe in one hand and the, still bleeding, head of your foe in the other. One day, my Viking friend, one day you will be free, but for now just let the world think you're fishing your, foot long, beard out of a lovely mocha latte... Let them all convince themselves they're safe... Fools.

Nils Oscar - Hop Yard

Originally posted 28/1/13

I'm starting to suspect that everything Nils Oscar create is going to be something special. My only previous experience with them and, indeed, with Swedish beer as a whole was God Lager but now I sit here staring at a muddy crystal that I can smell from half way across the room. On the nose it's very rye orientated and the hops are in abundance but, not unlike the God Lager, the star of the show is how deeply satisfying this beer is to just throw down your neck! There are some beers that are for sipping, some that suit small mouth fulls, but not the Nils Oscar clan, as classy as they seem, you would be forgiven for just annihilating bottle after bottle in a matter of minutes. I would not advise actually doing that with this IPA though because at 7.3% it is no slouch and if you don't give it the respect it deserves then it's going to bend you over a barrel and re-enact some choice scenes from Pulp Fiction with you.

There is slight bitterness hiding in the expertly built housing of its supremely well rounded body but this beer will appeal to anyone who has even looked at an ale in the supermarket and wondered to themselves "hmmmm, I wonder what that tastes like." It's a lovely IPA and it does credit to a nation that brought us the likes of Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time and Victoria Silvstedt. High praise indeed!

Food Suggestion: Maple cured bacon! A big fistful of maple cured bacon! A bucket of maple cured bacon so big that you later suffer from severe heart defects as a direct result.

Drink this if you like: Rye IPA by De Molen... Which is a little tough to come across by regular means or Meantime IPA... Which you can buy by the wine bottle!


Revisited 12/3/13

After my review of God Lager had made it to the people at Nils Oscar I was contacted and sent a few more of their beers to try out, for which I am intensely grateful. One of the specimens they sent me was one I had tried and reviewed before, the only difference between that one and this one being that this bottle came straight from the source! So the big question is, has my opinion of Hop Yard changed in the month or so away from it?

Well, it still has that deliciously alluring, thick, jammy, aroma with less rye than before but, in some ways, much more intoxicating. Now that I sit down and relax with this beer, with all of the reviewing actually done, I can appreciate how there is a light fruit smell to it and that, if put in a proper Belgian style beer glass with the lip curving outwards, the foam will stick to the sides and pretty much just stay there until the rest of the glass is empty.

Now that I drink it again I remember how when I first had it I never wanted to drink anything else. I'm tasting rye this time as well as a hint of Seville orange peel. A lovely, warm, bitter, IPA that can be crisp and, I think, is best served very cool. I really recommend this beer if you can get it and, I think, the trick to it is to get it as fresh as you possibly can, maybe not as fresh as getting it directly from the brewery but make sure your bottle has a decent life on it.

What an absolute joy Hop Yard is to drink. Hop Yard is a beer to get philosophical about, a beer to get comfortable with, a beer to simply enjoy... No, no fancy metaphors this time. This is just a damn good beer. Plain and simple.

Nils Oscar - Ctrl Alt Delete

I'm not entirely sure what I expected from Ctrl Alt Delete, though a little part of me somewhat thought that it would be another lager, one that would rival God Lager... But then I realised that that would be an utterly stupid move and would, more than likely, be bad for business. The reality is much better than what I imagined... Luckily. What we have is a dark amber, light looking beer with little head and low carbonation that smells slightly of berries and, for all intents and purposes, is very unassuming. It looks, partially, as comfortable as a liquidised, pine, sofa and I'm looking forward to drinking it.

At 4.5% it is the lowest percentage Nils Oscar... I imagine, I don't speak Swedish, I only assume that this is the case because everything I've tried so far has been as broad and as well stocked as a pantry full of lard cakes and bacon. The taste is very interesting, a light mix of red berries and a slight metallic twang that isn't unpleasant but is quite definitely a shot from left field. Like every other beer from Nils Oscar it is incredibly easy to drink and with it's 4.5% tag, it's a lighter choice for a session or as that one beer at the beginning of the night when you know you've got to drive all your horrifically drunk friends home.

This is such an odd beer! Something I've not come across before! It's bordering on the lines between a ruby or dark ale and a lager or pilsner because it has the fizzy carbonation and easy drinkability of a pilsner but the taste of a decent ruby ale, if slightly lighter and a touch more subtle. I'm not sure if that's what the guys were going for but if they were then, well, kudos, because that's some bold stuff and exactly the kind of thing I like. Mixing it up in a way that is inoffensive, whilst still sewing the seeds of revolution, very, very interesting.

Though, of course, I could be giving them way too much credit and this could be a dark ale that has no head but a lovely, drinkable, body... I don't think that's the case, I get the impression that they're willing to take risks in Sweden.

I broke a cardinal rule before I reviewed this... I had a look on Ratebeer.com to see what this got and it didn't get a good score, it wasn't an awful score but these guys are used to better. I don't think their score is entirely fair because I read through some of the reviews by, so called, beer critics (most of which can't string together a coherent sentence) and I got the impression that they just didn't UNDERSTAND this beer. I did. I like it. I want you to give it a chance... If you get the chance.

Food Suggestion: I'd love to pair this up with some lovely hot crossed buns or a raisin and cinnamon bagel with just a little bit of butter on them. Sweet and sticky comfort food for a smooth and tasty beer.

Drink this if you like: Alt means, literally, "old" and this is a Swedish version of a German equivalent of English ale. So if you like Tribute or ESB or anything of that ilk then you'll like this but, in a similar way, if you like Warsteiner or Spatenbrau or Lowenbrau then you'll probably get along with this very well too. This is a beer for everyone but, most of all, it's for computer nerds who understand what Ctrl Alt Delete does... Because that's why I got so excited about it in the first place.

Shepherd Neame - Spooky Ale

Yes, yes, I realise that it's almost exactly the furthest day away from any given Halloween that it could possibly be excluding the rather sobering thought of mass extinction but I thought I'd haunt you a little bit with a gimmick beer from Halloween 2012 by Shepherd Neame... Spoooooooooky Ale. Though it's just called Spooky Ale, I felt the extra o's gave it a much more sinister and ethereal edge. This beer was donated to me by my colleague and fellow beer-o-phile Jo Dale who, I quote, said "yeah, it's alright, I'll bring you a bottle..."

...High praise indeed!

I have issues with Shepherd Neame, good and bad, though more recently they are mostly bad, though they made up for it when I drank 1698, but little can make up for them closing down my favourite pub. I probably shouldn't bring reasons other than beer into the judgement of their work, but I'm going to because critics without bias are really quite tedious!

Spooky Ale pours VERY well, it looks exactly how a nice dark ale should look, it's got a murky brown body and a thick, resilient, white head and if you pour it into an old man, dimple, mug, then you could easily fool yourself into thinking you were part of the cast of Emmerdale. It smells of, and this is an odd one, it smells a bit like when you go fishing, it smells like all the different aspects of nature culminating into a frothy brown fluid. That taste has a little of the sweet shop about it but then it has a bitter finish that is slightly cloying and an odd after taste that feels a little synthetic. It is, by no means, the worst beer I've ever had but does it come up to the bench mark I set long, long ago (sometime at the end of last year,) is it as good as Tribute by St. Asutell? No. It's interesting after a fashion and appropriate for Halloween but if this was just another beer in their range then I don't think it'd stand up on its own, if pitched as a main stay for their range then I don't think it would even make the cut. Sheps have a history of doing this, I've noticed that the Christmas brew has changed several times in the last 3 or 4 years, slowly turning into some watery mess that I would not, in good conscience, even give to a man who was about to die of thirst or use to extinguish a dog fire for fear that the dog may end up smelling like shame and disappointment.

I am so appreciative for the opportunity to try this but, yet again, Sheps fall short, not by much but it does definitely fall short, it's just another case of a Sheps beer looking better than it tastes, which is a shame. They should just reduce their range down to the ones that are actually any good like 1698, early bird and late red and stop making stuff that will make them a bit of money because they'll lose loyal customers and they'll have to sell more of their pubs.

Food suggestion: Fig rolls! When was the last time you had a fig roll with a beer? Never?! What! Get ye to a shoppe! Get ye to a shoppe and buy ye'self a figgy roll!

Drink this if you like: Spitfire... I guess, and Bishop's Finger and all the other NOTHING beers at the bottom end of the Sheps range that people seem to like for no good reason other than they have patriotic or slightly perverted names... And they're relatively local.

Old Dairy Brewery - Tasting Selection

I normally say that these items have been donated but this was actually a gift from my girlfriend's parents (Thank you!) I really try and make myself easy to buy for by broadcasting the fact that I only really like 2 things and they're comics (freakin' love comics) and beer (I write this blog and I drink an absolute ton of the stuff.)

My previous dealings with the Old Dairy Brewery have been near universally positive, they started out a bit slowly for me but now I'm just starting to think that I picked a bad bottle because everything I've had since then has been brilliant. In this tasting selection we have their Copper Top, a premium bitter, Silver top, a luscious looking cream stout, and an absolute beast of a brew, the 10% Tsar Top, an imperial Russian stout. If this tasting selection proves to be positive then you can expect more reviews of the Old Dairy Brewery in the future... I've been eyeing up Czech Mate, their pilsner... I'm eyeing it like a cheetah eyes a crippled gazelle.


Copper Top - 4.1%

I'm not sure whether it's entirely intentional or not but everything I've had so far from Old Dairy Brewery has either looked or tasted extremely creamy, taking on characteristics from the history of the brewery. With Copper Top, premium bitter, it is the milky white head that froths like fresh milk being poured from a great height and sticks around like that guy at parties who just can't take a hint and keeps talking to you when your hand is up some girls blouse. The colour is a rich, dark, hazel and the aroma as a beautifully indulgent mix of malt and hops, the kind of smell that brings back memories of old pubs where old men smoked pipes and drank out of dimpled mugs.

As predicted, the texture is somewhat creamy and, therefore, the whole thing goes down very easily. The bitterness is sharp and there is a hint of the darker fruits at the finish. Many supermarkets sell bottles of stuff that claims to be REAL ale and REAL beer for the REAL beer fan. THIS is REAL beer, this stuff will put hairs on your chest and fill you with so many outdated clichés that the stick you'll be using to shake at them will become limp out of frustration.

This beer, like many others from Old Dairy Brewery, don't tend to last too long in the glass. Fresh Hop lasted about 3 minutes and this isn't too far behind it, I'm already eyeing the dregs and contemplating what to have next. Copper Top is an excellent mood setter, as long as that mood is DRINKING!

Food Suggestion: Old school pub fare, anything from a ploughmans to chicken and chips in a basket. I, personally, would just stuff my face with pork scratchings and hook this up to my veins.

Drink this if you like: It's hard to compare it to things that describe themselves as "bitter" in the shops because they mostly come in cans, which instantly makes them crap, or they're made by Marstons, which instantly makes them... Sub par. Drink this if you like Pedigree I guess... Drink this if you like Pedigree and you're sick of not being able to taste much of anything.


Silver Top - 4.5%

It's odd but this beer smells like it's going to taste creamy... I know there are other subtle hints like the undeniable fact that it's a cream stout and that it says so quite prominently on the label but my point remains. You get the regular stout smells: rich mocha and dark chocolate, that come through a head as thick as two planks and as light as bubbles a child would blow through a straw into strawberry milk, except this sticks around a lot longer and what lies beneath, I'm sure, is a hell of a lot more fun.

This is very smooth with hints of bitterness but it is the texture of it that's bowling me over once again, it's just such a superb gateway for all those rich coffee and chocolate flavours that expand on your palate, accompanied by a light fizz at the end. This is not a stodgy stout, it is not thick, it is more like single cream than it is like clotted and all's for the better! Some stouts can be too watery and, therefore, end up being somewhat unsatisfying as a stout and others can be too thick and cloying but this, with its fizz and creamy texture, has hit somewhere in and around the sweet spot for my personal preference in stout which, as far as this review goes, is all that is and will ever matter.

This seems to be a drink that changes with your mood and can either be an indulgent treat with smooth chocolate and coffee flavours or it can be a refreshing pint to chuck down your neck if you are so inclined. Sterling effort chaps!

Food Suggestion: I'd love to have this with a cinnamon swirl, one of those really thick doughy ones that come apart like fresh bread and are covered in rich, sticky, icing. I see stout very much as a dessert drink and this is definitely in that camp.

Drink this if you like: Any cream or milk stout, this is an excellent example of that creed.


Tsar Top - 10%

With a punch somewhat like putting too much vinegar on your chips and a rich burnt coffee taste that is both challenging and deeply addictive, Tsar Top is the cherry on top of the cake on top of the crown that rests gently on Gertrude, the favoured milking cow of the Dairy Queen. I didn't mess around with checking to see what it poured like because it poured a bit like fizzy syrup that some prankster had infected with Marmite... Speaking of which! That's the after taste here! A rich burnt coffee with very light chocolate tones with an after taste of marmite on toast that just tingles at the back of your throat, waiting for you to take another gulp of delicious booze. In so many ways this beer reminds me of every single breakfast I had at university.

I didn't even take a whiff before I started drinking, as was my desire to crack this little beauty open. Maybe it was the cows wearing hats on the front that got me in the mood for greedily mauling a beer with my general face area or, more likely (though, cows wearing hats? Come on. Totally badass, right?) It was because this is a locally made, craft, imperial Russian stout that tallies in at a whopping 10% and there are few things that motivate me more than booze greed and extremely selective patriotism. Though now that I do have a smell it does smell a little woody, which is intriguing and more than enough to make up for the lack of head (though what you do get is a delicious subversive rusty brown colour) as well as the thin body.

However! Let that not detract from what all those elements create! The thin, drinkable, smooth, body acts as a vehicle to quickly drink (originally written as drinkly quick, hence proving my point,) a beer that is 10%, which is enough to knock most people senseless. Tsar Top is a little like the old Russian royal family for which it is named, it is decadent with savoury elements lingering in the shadows and then BOOM! A bloody and violent end as you down your drink and fall off your chair...

And so ends "Drew's Brew retells the Bolshevik Revolution."

Food suggestion: Thick brown bread and big chunks of extremely strong cheddar, I'm talking about a 7 or 8, higher if you can get it. Enjoy a night of punishing your taste buds with the sheer strength of the two combined.

Drink this if you like: I haven't enjoyed a stout like this for a long time but the last time I did was when I had Ashtray Heart by Evil Twin, which is considerably more smoked than this is and Big Mofo Stout by Brodie's, which was built like a brick... House of effluence, and could knock you out cold in 30 seconds flat. This, maybe, isn't quite as good as those but I see those as elite level stouts, but this has one significant advantage as far as I can see, this works out to just less than £4 a bottle if you get it delivered and, I imagine, less if you can find it in a shop, which is half the price you'll pay for any beer that's potentially only half as good as this one.

Brooklyn Brewery - Lager & Monster Ale

Brooklyn Lager - 5.2%

This, as far as I can remember, is probably one of my favourite mainstream lagers, not because it's particularly fancy, because I've definitely had fancier, and not because it's ground breaking in it's style or the way it tastes. It's one of my favourites because it simply IS... Which sounds horribly pretentious but stick with me for a moment and I'll explain.

I don't expect a lot from American lager that makes it to this country, Budweiser has set a horrible bench mark that anyone who even remotely tries will utterly obliterate, yet for years, decades even, the benchmark remained untouched. Then, one day, I saw a bottle of Brooklyn Lager in my local supermarket and I thought "meh, might as well give it a shot, I like the way they wrote that B on the front of their bottle... That's reason enough to buy it." I took it home, chilled it, popped the cap and took a mighty swig straight from the bottle. This beer is smooth with a satisfying amount of carbonation, a little edge of citrus on the palate and a malty aroma. This is what, at the very least, all lager should taste like.

With craft lager it's easy to either over or under do things. Over do it and you get a sparkling pale ale, not a lager, under do it and you get a soda stream accident. Brooklyn have got it just right with this, it's refreshing but still interesting, which is rare.

I would go as far as saying that this is the new bench mark for craft lager, it may not be the absolute best but it is a beer that I would happily drown myself in. So, for all the craft breweries out there who want to make a craft lager, go as big as Brooklyn or go home.

Food Suggestion: I know little about American sport but I can imagine going to a baseball game and pouring a whole bunch of these into a double gulp bucket and chug it alongside an array of burgers, fries, hot dogs, donuts and things that have been deep fried that should never have been deep fried. I could drink and eat myself to death in the ravenous sun, slowly turning into a giant prune, whilst watching some guy hit a free throw touch down from the crease with his baseball racket... Sports!

Drink this if you like: The obvious comparison seems to be Sam Adams but you could also compare this to the Peroni Gran Riserva and other European staples like Bitburger and Budweiser Budvar (the good Budweiser.)


Monster Ale - 10.3%

At 10.3%, on paper at least, this has all the makings of walking the walk as well as talking the talk, not that I'm disinclined to believe the hype presented by the bottle but I've been burned before by bold claims such as these. The pour is, well, it's fun... I don't often describe pouring a beer as fun but it was this time, mostly because when you pour this beer it looks like what I imagine nuclear fission looks like to an alcoholic quantum physicist. It's so vibrant and effervescent, bubbling almost ferociously within the leathery brown body of the beer. Even the slightest movement and it starts going again. It's hard to dislike a beer that's excited to see you.

On the nose there are hints of orange peel and waves of toffee which combine and remind me of the sickly sweet aroma of Drambuie, which is no bad thing. I've never had anything that has claimed to be a barley wine before, or even in the style of a barley wine, so this first taste, I imagine, will be quite an experience.

WHOA! Jesus F'Bombing McNuggets! That is a BIG flavour! It's got strong hops and an after taste that edges towards what I would expect from a much stronger drink. To me it tastes like a slightly burnt, slightly caramelised wiese bier but without the cloudy body and with slightly less fizz.

I can't imagine having many of these in any given session but I can imagine having one and savouring it. It somewhat surprises me that this came out of a place like New York. I mean no disrespect to New York by that, this beer just seems perfect for drinking on a balcony overlooking a lake or on a farm... Overlooking some cows.

This beer is best enjoyed cool but not cold and with company that have seen you drunk and sloppy before.

Food Suggestion: Artisan bread, a big loaf of something with other bits in it made by a large woman with flour on her nose who utilises her children as cheap labour in her struggling bakery, and butter made by sexually repressed religious zealots who think they live in the past. Yeah, that'll do it.

Drink this if you like: This REALLY reminds me of Skull Splitter by the Orkney Brewery. Also, drink this if you enjoy slowly losing your sight, memory and moral compass over the course of an evening...

Scneider Weisse - Tap 5 Meine Hopfenweisse

The Germans always were people for saying things like they were and I'm pretty sure the name translates to "Tap 5 (that bit was easy) My Hops White," which is exactly what you get. It pours a lovely roasted golden amber until you get to the bottom of the bottle where the sediment (which you are supposed to pour into the glass with wheat beers) kicks in and turns your lovely Wießbier into something that better resembles the contents of a communal student toilet after a heavy night playing Centurion where the shots of beer are replaced with shots of prune juice. Not to say that's a bad thing, some of the best things the world has ever given us have also been some of the ugliest, just look at Subo... Ok, that's a bad example.

On the nose this has got a whole range of things including gooseberry, orange, passion fruit with hints of caramel and red rope liquorice with yeasty overtones, which all combines with such complexity to create an intoxicating and complicated introduction to what eventually turns out to be an absolute bombshell of a beer. That first sip is important because my reaction was that there was little going on, but that's because I was distracted by the liveliness, the heavy carbonation and the cappuccino foam head that sticks around for days. The first thing you notice after that is the MASSIVE alcoholic kick, which is then subtly swept under the carpet by a menagerie of flavours that shift and transform while you drink. There were hints of toffee in with the fruity tastes and yeasty notes, but that wasn't the interesting thing about the whole experience...

As well as getting almost instantly hammered off this 8.2% beast, I got the distinct impression that, what with the transforming and the rapid effervescence, the beer itself was alive. So I guess the moral of this story is that if you want to drink something that tastes and feels like it's still alive, which is a demented and oddly specific thing to want from a beer, then drink this. If that's not your thing and you simply wish to be challenged then this'll be right up your alley too, but this is definitely not for the beer novice or the weak of heart.

Food suggestion: It's German, eat it with sausages or schnitzel with a side of potato mash or dumplings and stab at it with pretzels as long as your lower intestine and revel in how potentially offensive a stereotypical tableau you are casting.

Drink this if you like: There's not a whole lot like this out there on the UK market because this is high end stuff but Franziskaner is the closest thing you'll get in the shops.

Newcastle Nocturnal & Winter IPA

Whatever you happen to think about the Newkie brand, they are a figurehead for what English beer should be like and is revered around the world as a readily available beer with both flavour and style. I don't think that Newcastle Brown is the best beer in the world but it is definitely not the worst and I am intrigued to see what else they can come up with.


Newcastle Nocturnal - 4.5%:

The moment I pour it is the moment I have deja vu. It's almost exactly like pouring Brown but with slightly more froth, the aroma is that old school bitter smell, that stereotype of beer that no longer exists but still sticks at the back of your brain like chewing gum beneath a stackable, plastic, school chair. The taste is not unpleasant and inoffensive, pushing as far as having a little hint of toffee to go with the smooth texture that makes this a thirst quencher more than a beer to be enjoyed and savoured.

There's something very odd about this beer and I'm pretty sure that it's because it looks, from bottle to pour, like it should be a craft beer made by some farmer out in Cumbria but it's made by the biggest brewery in England and brewed by Heineken UK. It was never going to taste anything other than artificial, which is a shame because I looked at these bottles and thought some of the real, passionate, brewers had cobbled together a few efforts that were so good that the company had to put them on sale. This is not the case. This just feels like a big company spotting a trend in craft beer and trying to jump on the band wagon to eke out a few more pounds to throw on the pile.

This is a nothing beer that is neither good nor bad, it simply IS. I can imagine having a few at the pub but I can't imagine enjoying it.

Food suggestion: Rice cakes. Something bland that tastes like nothing to compliment the utter taste of nothing that seems so abundant in this beer.

Drink this if you like: Tap water.


Newcastle Winter IPA - 5.2%

Are you actually s***ing me? Did someone switch the label on this bottle with one for Nocturnal? Because this looks, pours and smells almost exactly like its 4.5% counterpart. I've got a sinking feeling about this...

On the nose it's a near perfect match with Nocturnal and, oh guess what, it tastes like an absolute carbon copy of nocturnal but with a little extra bitterness to denote that it's a winter IPA. F*** you, Newcastle Brown, for making 2 identical beers and trying to fence them off as 2 "limited edition" premium beers, you bunch of bastard con artists! Having a massively popular brand does not allow you to make utter bollocks and sell it to the public. Go back to making that one beer that people who know nothing about beer like.




Food suggestion: A big bowl of bitterness and regret with a side of sheer hatred.

Drink this if you like: Being a massive f***ing idiot.


Verdict: Don't buy these. If you like Newkie Brown then drink Newkie Brown... Out of an old tin can as you slowly drink yourself to an incontinent death whilst wearing a pot noodle stained string vest, slowly infecting your hovel with the stench of desperation and stale piss.

Tullibardine - 1488

I get the distinct impression that because I bought this in a garden centre at above regular price, this bottle may well be all mouth and no trousers. It looks very fancy with its white and gold label and its white and gold embossed cap but I've been fooled before especially by flashy bottles that claim to contain "Whisky Beer." By a long way the best example of a whisky beer is the Innis & Gunn whisky cask and it is, almost exclusively, because of that beer that I decided to blindly give free reign to its potentially ill-conceived brethren. Taking this off the shelves was a shot in the dark, I figured that no company with any semblance of a conscience could sell ANY beer for the £5 I paid for it without it being any good...

My hopes are raised slightly as I read that this is a Scottish beer. Why? Well if there are two things the Scottish know it's whisky and it's how to use whisky to make other things AWESOME. The pour is frisky and the head starts out as sea foam but settles into a creamy lip over time. There's no hint of whisky in the aroma, just the faint smell of alcohol, which may well mean nothing but I have found it to be true that big smells lead to big flavours.What you get is a smooth, very drinkable, off-amber beer that tastes a little of treacle and banana, it was only when I lapped at the frothing foam that I got the burn in the back of the throat that I get from whisky. This is a deeply satisfying, comforting and warming ale that tastes like it should be a 4% but is, in fact, a hefty 7%.

This is both a beer to be taken seriously and to be good humoured with because it tastes a million times more playful than the regal bottle may suggest but at 7% it is not to be taken for granted. This is a very impressive beer, yet another in a long list that have come from North of the border. Och aye the noo, chaps, och aye the noo.

Food suggestion: Freshly made croissants with big, rich, globs of butter running down it. Even though it's Scottish and they're not particularly renowned for it, this beer feels refined and therefore suits something a bit... Daintier.

Drink this if you like: Innis & Gunn whisky cask is a good shout but this better resembles Well's Banana Bread beer.

Brains - The Rev. James

As far as I'm aware there are only a handful of Welsh beers readily available on the market here in England, which is odd considering the relative proximity, even when compared to somewhere like Scotland, Wales just seems a lot closer. One of the other ones is Brains SA... Which is just their full corporate name a bit backwards. I remember liking Brains SA and I had wondered to myself whether they had much else to offer and now, completely by accident, I happen to have a pint of Rev. James in front of me.

First impressions are that it pours well with a thick head of thin froth that dissipates quickly but leaves 2mm to remind you you're still drink something that's got a bit of life to it. The main site blurb describes Brains as the Welsh version of Guinness, a national institution, well I don't think much of our national beer so I hope Brains know what they're talking about. The aroma is definitely warming with hints of nutmeg and vanilla, which is definitely an interesting opening gambit. The taste is a smooth raisin-sweet concoction that reminds me heavily of sweet and nutty fruit cakes with crusted, sugary, icing. It doesn't have a massive flavour as such but what flavour it does have is, at least, interesting and, in line with what the bottle says, is rarely seen in ale these days.

It's easy to say that you like something but it's hard to really quantify it without resorting to a numerical system, so in the interests of retaining some semblance of intellectual and creative integrity I will rate this beer by saying I like it THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much *stretches arms out a little but not too much, I don't want to pop a joint or anything.*

Food Suggestion: The bottle says something hearty, I say cake, I say fruit cake. It already tastes a bit like fruit cake, why not double it up like a badass?

Drink this if you like: Hobgoblin is pretty close, as is Theakstons and Black Sheep. Interesting beers with interesting flavours that are nice to drink, especially when you're on a bit of a budget.

Harviestoun Brewery - Bitter & Twisted

Drew "Bargain Hunter" Harrington is what precisely no-one calls me, generally on the basis that I'm not all that great at bargain hunting, I don't actively bargain hunt and that Harrington isn't my last name. However, if they did call me that then they'd almost definitely be referring to this, an interesting little number that I dug out of the staff shopping bin. The poor thing was reduced down to 39p because it had no label.

39p well spent! B&T, as they like to refer to it on the bottle, has an aromatic character with a smooth body with, as advertised, a little lemon at the end that is immensely pleasing and perfectly compliments the sweet cereal taste that precedes it. The pour is frisky but tameable and it has more flavour than most things you'll find in the real ale section of your local supermarket.

It is utterly impossible to find fault with this beer, it's not blowing any doors down but, then again, it's not trying to so I can't really mark it down for that. I get the impression that the guys over at Harviestoun got an idea for a beer, meticulously plotted out what they'd need and where they'd need it, tweaked where appropriate and then ended up with exactly what they wanted, a deliciously smooth, well balanced, slightly quirky, thirst quencher with character and charm. Another thoroughly decent pint from Scotland. Those guys really know what they're doing.

Food Suggestion: I like the idea of this with a massive shellfish platter, lots of crab and lobster, a hammer and some butter. Stick a couple of bottles of this on the table and I'm a happy chap.

Drink this if you like: Jennings, though it does have a little hint of St. Mungos about it. Part of it feels like a really high-end helles style beer so if you're a fan of the Germans then you'll probably like this too.

Traquair - House Ale

After being thoroughly disappointed by the last 2 Scottish beers I've had I'm looking at Traquair with keen anticipation. I've heard murmurings about this beer, I've seen people request it online and I know that people like it... But I don't trust people so let's see what I think of it. It pours a deep, dark, brown, which for all intents and purposes we shall call black. It smells like salty, smoky, caramel mixed with a little sloe (coincidentally, it's the best thing I've smelt today,) my hopes are officially UP. It tastes like a rich and indulgent, almost decedant, ruby ale with a palate that hits you like a torpedo and leaves scorch marks on your tongue. It fizzes in your mouth like a handful of poprocks and has an after taste of wild berries.

At 7.4% this is a true Scottish beverage, no half measures, no messing around, just a recipe that's so old that it's great grand children have beards as long as a caber and a taste that both challenges the weak willed and rewards the brave... Hearted. Boom! Scotland! This beer not only redeems the 2 absolute shockers I'd had previously but it puts them back into the black as far as my beer rankings go. This beer is quietly impressive, it doesn't shout but when it talks everyone listens, it is rich, fruity and has character for days. It has that odd starchy quality that I've found in some Scottish beers that can be cloying and unpleasant but in Traquair it works and, if anything, adds a completely different dimension to the beer that is pleasurable as opposed to distracting. What an absolute stunner of a beer and to think I found this in a bloody garden centre! What a gem! The people of Innerleithen can be seriously proud of this one.

Food Suggestion: It needs something hearty, it needs meat, it needs potatoes, it doesn't matter in which order.

Drink this if you like: Fizzy, fruity, high percentage, almost dunkel style beer that's big on flavour and character is hard to come by but if that kind of thing is your cup of tea then I don't need to tell you that you'll like it because you'll already know about it. If you don't then all I can do is tell you to try it and if you don't like it then that's down to your own personal taste. But F.Y.I if you don't like it then you're wrong.

Brodie's - Dalston Black IPA

It's rather impossible to dislike Brodie's as a beer fan because they just tend to make extremely big and bold beers with pronounced aromas and rich, indulgent flavours. I get the impression, from the pour alone, that this Dalston Black IPA will be no different from the 2 Brodie's I have tried before. On the nose there is an absolute roundhouse kick of hops that bubbles through its thick and unyielding, wallpaper paste, head. The hops smell like goldings but I could easily be wrong, but you don't need to know that, all you need to know is that it has a heady aroma that is slightly citrus and a bit tart. When you take that first sip you are absolutely assaulted with BIG bitter flavours, it tastes like taking a gulp out of an edible swamp! It's bitter and hoppy, that may not sound like a lot but it's got a hell of a lot of those two elements and that counts for a lot when the rest of the product is presented to you so elegantly. This may have all sounded like a negative review but I love big hops and a mountain of bitterness, if there was an edible swamp then I'd be the first in line, this beer challenges you to keep drinking and then rewards you with a warm glow courtesy of its 7% content.

I have tasted 3 Brodie's beers and I have loved all 3 of them, they've got a 100% record with me and that's easily enough for them to go into the Drew's Brew Hall of Fame (otherwise known as the "likes" part of my Facebook page... Or, at least, I would add them if they had a fan page) Other inductees include Thornbridge, De Molen and Evil Twin, so they're in good company.

Yet another excellent purchase from The Bottle Shop in Canterbury. Take the train to Canterbury West and do your weekly shop at the Goods Shed, do it and be happy!

Food Suggestion: A really dry, spicy, Indian curry. I'm not talking about nosebleed stuff, just strong enough for you to feel it.

Drink this if you like: Nogne 500 is similar from what I can remember, though it's hard to remember anything after drinking that.

Pheasantry Gift Set

 

The Pheasantry Microbrewery in Nottinghamshire is one of the newest microbreweries on the market and they seem to be out to make a splash. I came by a triple bottle gift set through colleague Brandon Myland whose cousin owns a stake in the company... Or at least I think that's how the story went, though I only had to remember 2 things so it'd be somewhat worrying if I managed to get that bit wrong. My first impressions of the gift set and, indeed, the first foray for Pheasantry into the world of craft beer is that they seem particularly no-nonsense, which in the craft beer world speaks much more than so many bells and whistles. Like a lot of fresh microbreweries Pheasantry have gone with a flagship selection of a Pale Ale, Bitter and Dark Ale, which is much the way I imagine I'll go when I start making bigger batches of my home brew. I can see these guys being a perfect example for anyone who wants to get into the craft beer game. The proof, however, is in the pudding... The tasting of the pudding... Time to drink!

DA - 4.2%

Or Dark Ale, for those who can't speak beer code, is a rich smelling, deep mix of hazel and burgundy (depending where the light is,) smooth, bready and bitter beer with a little tingle of alcohol at the end. At 4.2% it's definitely a session beer and was never going to blow any doors down with massive hop flavouring but it doesn't need it because it has something completely different. It's got a zing to it that, mixed with the bready, yeasty, taste makes it taste a little like a good bread and butter pudding and there are few things in life that I like more than a good bread and butter pudding... Well there are a few actually but one of the others is beer and this brings the two together. If only there was a way of experiencing a Hellblazer comic through the medium of beer, this would be my perfect drink.

The thing I like about this Dark Ale is that with a lot of other examples of the species you can sometimes get the impression, perfectly naturally, that it's been hanging around for a while, the darker ones always feel well lived, in my head they all get their flavour from living long enough to see themselves become the villain. Not with this though, this tastes fresh, this tastes surprisingly light and drinkable for a dark beer. Maybe that's because they're a young company and haven't had to make those tough choices when one road leads them to good quality (and often poverty) and the other is a short cut to money bag city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty... Good at pouring a pint.

I very pheasant pint by Pleasantry... Or something along those lines.

Food Suggestion: Some sort of sweet and sticky Moroccan Tagine would go perfectly with this! The sweet, hot, spicy, flavours and aromas mixed with the subtlety and rich smoothness of DA sounds like an absolute winner to me.

Drink this if you like: This reminds me of Nutty Black by Thwaites, which is readily available at pretty much every supermarket in the country. The texture is also not unlike that of the famous Newcy Brown though this is much more subtle and, I dare say, more interesting for it.


BB - 3.8%

I've decided to do these three reviews the same way movies depict death, going towards the light. In the middle there is the Best Bitter, a beer that almost perfectly matches the colour of those beer bottle sweets you used to see around but probably don't see any more because of some stupid rule about not encouraging small children to drink... Preposterous! I get the impression from their website that BB is the flagship brew, the staff bearing grog, the talismanic tipple, and with that burden placed quite heavily on its shoulders, how does it fare?

Well the pour is satisfying, a little head that dissipates quickly enough and doesn't cling, there is a very light hoppy aroma which lulls you into a false sense of security because when you take that first sip you instantly wish it was a first gulp and before you know it half the pint is gone and you're rustling around in your pocket for some more change before realising that you're not standing in a bar and the closest bottle of BB is several hundred miles away. This is a smooth and deep bitter with only a twang of real bitterness in the after taste but smooth maltiness throughout which, together, culminate into something really quite gratifying. I wouldn't describe this beer as a delicious beer, though it definitely does taste very pleasant, it would be better to describe it in terms of texture and feel. Some bitters can be sharp and jagged in all the wrong places and utterly ruin the balance of the beer, there's nothing like that with BB because BB has balance for days. Tight rope walkers often look at BB and think "F***! I need to get a new job!"

I don't do ratings systems, I don't believe an opinion can be graded but, for all you people out there who NEED a rating then here's a shorter version of what I thought of this beer: Me like beer. Beer are gud.

Food Suggestion: Roast lamb with mint sauce and potatoes roasted in goose fat. Seasonal veg and I DON'T CARE THAT IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO WITH LAMB!: MAKE YOURSELF THE BIGGEST YORKSHIRE PUDDING EVER! Bitter and roast dinner... Gooooooo England!

Drink this if you like: Do you like bitter? Any bitter? Then you'll like this. Bam! Simple!


PA - 4%

This was probably the one I was least excited about trying because it's difficult to make a good pale ale... In my opinion at least. I love all beer equally, as if they were my children but I just happen to get on with some of them better than I do with others. It's not their fault that it appears that I love them less, it's just something that they have to deal with. Later. In therapy. However, when I poured PA (Pale Ale) what I got was an excitable little puppy of a brew that better resembled a violently bubbly pilsner than it did a pale ale. That's gotten me on side and wanting to drink the living crap out of this pint, but was it worth the emotional roller coaster?

In a word, yes, in a sentence, HELLS TO THE YEAH! It's lively and light and smooth but it has all the character of a rich, much darker, ale. I'm missing the aroma yet again but that may be because I have a bit of a cold (though I'm normally a blood hound, I can smell a Goldings hop from a mile away,) but the taste of light honey and grapefruit more than make up for that. It's such a gratifying pint purely because it's so energetic, it's like a puppy that's learnt how to backflip. It's really hard to dislike this beer because you get the feeling that it's trying so hard for you to like it... And I do, PA, I like you, you can come over to my house and we'll have tea... Then some other stuff will happen involving some light chilling and a branded pint glass, it'll get a bit awkward for a while, and you'll never be able to go home ever again... But it'll be worth it. Not for you, for me.

Food suggestion: This is a summer beer, definitely needs something like a ploughmans or, and this might be a bit out there, a share platter at a mexican restaurant, maybe followed by the duck or pork belly fajitas. It needs a meat that goes with something sweet. Failing that, just cook up a gammon joint and gnaw at it greedily over the course of an evening.

Drink this if you like: This does remind me of the St. Austell crew a little bit, except a bit friskier, and seemingly a lot more eager to please. I love St. Austell so this is high praise indeed.



Verdict:

Though there was a lack of aroma for all three beers there was a greater depth in character that pulled each one of them through. They all excelled in certain areas and need only minor tweaks, maybe in hop or grain combination, to become truly excellent beers. Right now they are good beers and I would happily drink each one of them until my liver became a bubbling pile of sludge, I just hope they've got a whole mess of tricks up their sleeve as they progress into what is a very competitive environment. They've got the tools, the knowledge and the attitude to succeed and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be seeing bottles of BB, PA or DA on supermarket shelves within a few years because all three are already better than quite a few of them.

I thoroughly enjoyed this gift set, it has definitely converted me into a supporter of Pheasantry. I heard down the grape vine (through their site) that they will soon be making a lager. All the positive elements from this gift set lend themselves to lager perfectly so I expect good things from that one. Keep an eye out for these guys, I think they've got a bright future.