Emelisse - Black IPA

I love a good Black IPA but this doesn't look like any black IPA I've ever seen. It pours like a syrupy stout and smells of sweet chocolate and coffee, which are the call signs of the stout/porter family. It also has the thin pencil moustache of a head that adorns many of the porter/stout clan but I know as well as any that looks can be deceiving... I've not known looks and smells to be deceiving in tandem though.

Yep, this isn't a black IPA, it tastes like a delicious imperial stout, what with it's thick, gloopy, nature and enticing burnt aromas, and as much as those are positives and as much as that makes this a very tasty beer it does not possess the massive hop kick and refreshing body that I expect from a Black IPA, which is a shame.

However, I probably think that because this is Dutch and because the Dutch are a little artistic when it comes to... Well, everything really, that Black IPA is just a name, the same way you get beers called Poacher's Choice, Kent's Best and London Pride. The beers in question may not be the favoured choice of a poacher, nor is it necessarily the best in Kent or the pride of London but those are the names they have and that's what they're sticking with... Regardless of how utterly wrong they may be. I guess, in a way, that's what makes them charming.

If I had reviewed this as a stout then I would be raving about how deeply satisfying it is to take a big swig of this and enjoy every millilitre of black silk before you swallow and repeat. I'd mention how it smelt like a chocolate liquor milkshake and how the 8% content was only marginally noticeable, just enough to let you know that what you're drinking is to be respected. Instead I'm ranting about how I've been lied to.

Dammit Emelisse, I thought you were cool, though I'm sure I'll forgive you... In time.

Drink this if you like: Being lied to by your beer.

Food Suggestion: Cheese and crackers. A lovely, veiny, stinky, stilton and crackers you could use to adequately mortar a house with.