De Halve Maan -Straffe Hendrik

This is exciting! Everything about this beer tells me I should be excited, everything from the dark green label that has imperfections under it and is peeling off at the sides as if someone had decided to bottle this in someone's shed... At night. The pour is like trying to tame a wild horse, even after a day of chilling, the head is unwieldy and feral, taking an age to reduce any, but why would you want it to? It has the same seaside foam sound that the Delirium did and at first you taste, of all things, pineapple. It settles down into a rounded malty delight that has hints of sour dough bread and a smoothness that you would do well to find any taste of alcohol in. This is another one of those ninja beers, the kinda that, if you hadn't read the bottle, you would drink the evening away with, only to wake up with severe gaps in your memory and no recollection of getting a tattoo devoted to someone called "Gertrude."

It's 9%, which IS strong. I keep having to remind myself that, just because I drink 10-12% stouts for this blog, anything between 6% and 10% is still enough to knock your bonce clean off its stump. It certainly does not taste like a 9%, in fact it barely tastes like a 4.5%. I'd have a tougher time drinking Heineken... I'd probably have a tougher time drinking warm cream. It's such an interesting beer because before you even pop the cork on this 75cl freakin' wine bottle of hearty booze you are already confronted with so much character. It tells you the basics, like how it is from Bruges, how it's 9% and how Bruges is in Belgium but then there's nothing but green, gold and a moody looking crescent moon with a fluffy beard and a murder weapon for a forehead if he were ever to head butt anyone.

It is so charming in the way it presents itself as well as in the way it tastes. I could stare at a half glass for a good half hour just watching the dark amber depths of my vessel just bubble away. When the head does recede it leaves a map of the world on the sides of the glass. This beer is truly a sticky, sweet, success and one well ingrained in Belgian tradition. The brewers, who are the last active brewers in Bruges, De Halve Maan should be extremely proud of themselves.

I have heard, down the beer grapevine that De Halve Maan also have a quadruple Straffe Hendrik, which I shall have to hunt and then promptly wolf down like a greedy duck trying to consume a box of Krispy Kremes.

This beer, as well as the other Belgian beauties, were donated by my favourite Belgian barberette Kim. Thanks Kim, you're totally badass for giving me these and you have increased by respect for Belgian beer by a couple of percent... Because I already consider Belgian beer to be in the top 2 of beer producing countries. For those of you who have never tried Belgian beer, put down your dented can of Carlsberg export, put on some proper trousers, go to the shops and bloody well buy some!

Food Suggestion: This would go well with pork, maybe some sticky ribs, a gammon steak or something that involves lots of bacon.

Drink this if you like: ...There is just nothing like this from our shores, not that I've tasted anyway. Drink this if you like Belgian beer, it is both more of the same and something completely different, like a new Offspring album or having sex with twins.