Orchard Brewery - Core Blimey

A painfully bad pun of a name followed by an aroma of green Starburst and a taste like cold sick. This "beer" manages to offend all of the senses at once without having the decency of have any redeeming features whatsoever. When I say that it tastes like cold sick, I literally mean that the first taste after the aroma is of bile and I felt the back of my throat dry up and shrivel into something I haven't experienced since I drank a snakebite made from special brew and white lightning at university. I truly regret buying this and the fact is that I only bought it because I was in a lovely farm shop in Chilham (near Canterbury, a place called Badgers' Hill) and the rest of the products I had previously purchased from there were delicious (it's one of the few places I know of that actually sells mead.)

To go into slightly more depth, the aroma whilst you're drinking is the lesser of two evils and distracts you from the fetted, orchard, puddle water that they sell for nearly £3! That's Fullers Double Stout money! If you drink this straight from the bottle then you've got no chance at all. I am considering pouring this down the drain, which means I will have poured £3 down the drain. This is not true, I have paid £3 for a lesson and that lesson is this: Don't buy flavoured beer from anywhere other than a specialist beer shop... Because it'll taste like the inside of an S.U. toilet after a "students drink for free" night.

Food suggestion: Chewing gum to get the taste of rotting organs and stomach acid out of your mouth. I imagine a Murray mint would work just as well, just do whatever it takes to make you forget you ever made such a stupid decision.

Drink this if you like: Being a f***ing idiot.

(I did drain this in the end. 5/6 of a pint left... And I feel very strongly about that kind of thing!)